&& When you have nothing left, i'll still love you...

Four people, four people i have in my life who i literally dont think i would be able to function without, my sister, my best friends and twinnie, the reasons i breathe and have hope, the people i can turn to though anything and no matter what is going on within my heart and head. This is blog is dedicated to you guys. 

Alice: My beautiful sister, i am so truly blessed to say that you are my best friend and that i have you in my life you are there for me though thick and thin, even when you don't have time for yourself you have time for me, your the kind of friendship i can be 100% around, i could literally walk around your house in my pj's dragging a duvet and you would not bat an eyelid because Katie would most likely be following behind....You would just laugh and say how much i fit in with your family. You are the person that has sat there when ive been at my lowest, when i tried to kill myself you were there, up the hospital till all hours even though you had college in the morning...Remember that night i was in a state and crying so much, and you held me tight till i fell asleep and only then let yourself sleep, even though you ended up going to college yet again on one hour of sleep. Your a brilliant photographer and you give me all these photoshoots where i actually look ok (i promise one day when im beautiful i will let you do a shoot and get some BEAUTIFUL photos) I literally could not live without you, your such a huge part of me it's unreal, i cannot even start to think about what i would do if i lost you. I would be a mess, i would die i know that for a fact. I love how there is not one thing you do not know about me, you literally know everything and still love me...and that, is one of the many reasons I love you! Alice thank you so much your incredible :) <3

Jenna: oh hell i miss you so bad it's actually unreal! how dare the world be so horrible and keep us apart so long? oh twinnie i miss you so much, i really really do. I don't think there is one day that goes by where i do not think of you and all of the wonderful memories we shared, I'll never forget how we used to sit up all night and talk about changing the world and healing people and we would want that so bad we would end up crying, in tears but at the same time so happy to have found someone to share our heads with... I miss how i never stopped laughing with you, how people would stare, i miss singing happiness in cologne station, we need to stop! wait no! we dont, it's too much fun i dont care what people think. Remember NYE 2010 and me being completely smashed and running out your house barefoot in the snow screaming HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROSHNI!!!!!Thank you, thank you for putting up with me for hours on end and not giving up on me where other people prob would have, it means so much, i think i met you, in the middle of one of the hardest periods of my life, and we still became twins....I just have so many memories i cannot write them all down...When we both tried to run into starbucks and feel though the door hitting our heads together, laughing SO loud on all the rides at movie park even the non funny ones, the train rides, your teacher loving me soooo much,my german,my singing wicked in german, your granny being like 'oh no' whenever we came in the room..HAIR DYE....I MISS YOU SO MUCH and i love you, get back in my life please twinnie, thanks. x

Emma: Smellypoobum! I guess that i love you...even though you are a bully and bully me and your horses. Oh and Hayley, and Jodie, and everyone, mean! ;p Why am i friends with you? Ha no seriously Emma you are incredible and i really am blessed to have you as my friend, i know we have not known eachother long in comparison to Alice and Jenna but is still love you just the same, you gave me my dream of having my loan horse i always wanted. You helped me to learn so much, you sat there no matter how frustrating i was. YOU NEVER GAVE UP ON ME..thank you for that, im getting so much more confident now so thank you. Your horses literally are so lucky to have you, as am i, and Hayley, and Jodie and Debbie and literally everyone else down at the yard, and actually everywhere! You are an incredible rider and i LOVE watching you with the horses, most of all Cariad, you look at one with her, something i dont think i will ever be ;P Thank you for making me laugh when i was feeling down, for acting stupid on trains in the middle of London, and to have your nan and Hannah sitting there like 'oh.my.god do i even know them' and just how whenever i am out with you its like a play date with a 5 year old, i can complete be my childish self, unfortunately for Hannah if she is with us because she ends up looking after us... ;P Our 'food storage' never failed to make me laugh...and i love your squeals when i bring you chocolate...oh but i dont like the whole thing where you put bright red lipstick on then chase me round boots trying to kiss me!! I love your way to comfort me so beautiful, me:' so yeah he said im a slut how the hell does that work?' you:' you are a slut your my slut...' and then when we decided we were gonna get married, i actually think Vicky's mum was about to crash the car haha! I love how we are 'special' and that there is noone like us, :P i love how we talk about stupid things like retards the entire time. I love you and your heart, thank you for being a part of my life. BUTTERBUM <3

and last but not least Courtney, for staying up with me the entire night last night, thats basically why you are on this blog because you dont realise how much that picked my mood up, ok the fact i have STILL not slept makes me feel like im dying but haha was totally worth it! Thank you for making me laugh! even if i did wake people up..that you for making me realise how important 'hettie' was pahahahahaha *creasing up again*  GAH i just love you, i cant believe that even though we were close, we never really got to sit and chat until last night. I dont reallly know what to say because i need to get to know you better but your already on this blog.. SCORE! heheh ;) I have not felt that understood in forever, that you for making me realise that its not just me men are complete arseholes with, it makes me feel so much better, so much you cannot even understand. Thank you for helping me rediscover my love for finding new music...actually thats the reason i'm writing this blog, so Alice,Jenna and Emma all have you to thank for this, so, i have one problem... WE DONT HAVE A PICTURE TOGETHER!!! we need one, soon asap please...i feel this blog is missing a sock without our photo on it!!!!

But all four of you i love you guys to death
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qomnSLpcpIs
Heres a little gift for you all
Hope you like it xxxxx