Friends like mine

Right blogging time! Im going to try and get myself back in the habit of blogging about things when i need to instead of sitting there taking it out on myself and practically getting no where in the long run.  It's actually thanks to a text i got from my best and she and only she will know exactly the thing thats currently bothering me in a personal level.
Ive just been thinking today about a handful of my friends who seem to care for me and i mean REALLY care....like adore me to little pieces care...and then been wondering just simply why because i really am nothing at all special, or worth it...nothing...It's also the friends that are like angels that im talking about...Ive been thinking about it to a point where its tore me emotionally and got me into a right state...Ive been sitting here thinking about how much i dont deserve these friends and then replaying in my head every messed up thing that went wrong in my life....
I mean i have friends whom everyone loves, everyone adores, everyone wants to be friends with...and yet...they are friends with me and its insane... 
I have friends that have stood by me through thick and thin no matter what has gone on they have not left my side...even when the whole world did 
I have friends who have faith in me and say 'you know what? lets do it!' and dont base my future and what I can do on just my past. If there is a dream they help me along and encourage me to pursue it.
I have friends who will give me the most amazing most beautiful hugs in the entire universe, they know if my go away leave me alone means 'go away leave me be' or 'no dont go i want you to hug me' These are the friends who think nothing of climbing in bed next to me and hugging me all night when i feel alone, afraid, upset or scared...
I have friends that know me better than i  actually know myself that can tell my life story better than i can just because they listen to everything i say and hold in their hearts even when i forget...Theyll remind me of the long forgotten good times when im upset to make me laugh, or remind me of a situation ive been in before that ive managed to come though even if it meant coming face to face with the devil. 
I have friends all over the world who all still give me time, attention, even when i dont deserve it...they message me if i havnt spoken to them in a week or so and be like 'i love you dont forget ok?' it makes my day, I love love, and those three simple words as long as they are meant mean more than the world to me.
I have friends who use the line 'you do that and hurt yourself then you hurt me too' and as much as i loathe that when it happens, its normally the thing that will stop me doing whatever retarded thing i had planned out..in the long run it means epic amounts to me. 
I have friends who i can act like a 5 year old again with and its perfectly ok...(Emma & Alice!!!) i can run around asda with them finding fruit that looks like rude parts of the body....or bombing down the aisle on the trolley singing...or dancing to music...or doing something totally and utterly pointless and stupid that just scares people into thinking weve escaped from the loony bin.
How do i deserve this...? I mean i could go on for alot longer but i cant remember what i wrote and what i havnt wrote and im too tired to keep reading back to check....

I'm not amazing, im not even a person worth a thought...yet i have friends like this?

John Lennon brings me back

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” 
― John Lennon  

Okay guys i know I've been seriously abusing my log recently and not writing anything...but i really have had a lot going on..alot of the time, and then I've also been sick so I've not had time to sit down an get to write...but this...literally forced me to get on here...  
Well i was just watching the closing ceremony for the London 2012 olympics and i can honestly say I've never seen anything more amazing in my life than what the John Lennon tribute was...i would describe it but considering that by now the whole world has prob seen it i don't see the point.  
But wow...London thank you thank you for bring my hero back from the dead for a night, thank you for giving him a chance to get his message of hope and love across the oceans and to all the different countries...i think he's look down right now crying with tears of joy. I was sitting trying so hard not to cry watching that play across my screen and i didn't even manage to control my heart for a second...The song Imagine is very special to me and sums up a lot of what has happened in my life...it also sums up who i am today and what i want for this world...recently I've been falling back, because I realised there was 'no hope' for this world and all humans will do is distory it and each other...seeing a group of people singing that song all together, whilst having it played out to the world also in sign language well it got me big time... tomorrow I'm going back to my hippie look that i so miss... I've realised there is hope there is always hope...and I'm not going to give up on this world yet...well never actually. One day, if we keep performing like this, i believe the world really will live as one. 

Why does it matter if your black, white, asian, mixed race, straight, lesbian, transgender, gay or bi? why does it matter if your hindu, mormon or whatever religion you are....why should people care if someone wears glasses, or likes tattoos and piercings...or likes to cut their hair differently to others....why is standing out so wrong and why must people be punished...what i saw tonight has given me a reason to keep on believing that one day every heart beating on this planet will come together in realising they all beat for the same reason, breathe the same oxygen and live under the same sky...and that they are meant to be together...not at war all the time...  
Please anyone who is reading this...really think about it...we are one..we just need to see that. I mean the Olympics for a start...look what we can do when we stand together. 
There is no limit to what we can change.