So yesterday i went to Balsidon and spent the day with Charlotte who, happenes to be one of the most wonderful girls i have ever met in my entire life..
For the first time in a long time, i was able to sit in starbucks (yay!) and actually have a chat and open up about i feel and what is going on in my life, about my hopes, fears and dreams, face to face with another person, without fear of them running away in the opposite direction..
I learnt what i true true friend really was. It was also the first time i have been to Charlotte's house, and right away i felt at home, her parents (and pets) were welcoming and it was wonderful to be able too go in and talk right away with ease with everyone in the house...
She als0 got me a beautiful friendship frame which i think i will treausre forever, i wouldnt put it down yesterday and held it close to my heart the entire time. It has five photos in it, and inside it are the four YA that have changed my life the most this year...Emma(even though she is not a YA tech), Sarrah, Marla and Lindsay, and ok maybe i do not talk to Marla or Lindsay anymore but it is the fact that i knew she had listened to my convosations we had been having. That frama now has pride and place on my desk, which i spend alot of time at :)
She made me some friendship braclets aswell, which i literally cried about, every color in every braclet means something and that makes me smile, even if it just my favouite color..:)
I have never met someone who i can be totally myself around like this and i am BLESSED :) I really really am ... :)
Thank you for everything my wonderful sister!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sunday 28 March 2010
Friday 26 March 2010
Be the change ♥
Look around and take in this beautiful word. Anything can inspire and change you and give you a new reason to hope and to believe.
The first step in achieving a dream/goal/ambition is believing for yourself that whatever it is can be attained. Then there is the road to it...
Some dreams can be like walking the path to hell, but at the end of the day, who said anything would ever be easy? Obstacles are put in your way for a reason and to set you a challenge, if they were not there then nothing would ever be learnt. I believe you need to go through bad experiences and bad times in your life to become a better person and fully appreciate all the good things that this world has to give....
Begin to love the earth and what is in it. You have to walk on it and live here everyday, so it's time to start seeing the true beauty... Think about the trees and start to recycle more often, Trees give us the oxygen that enables us to live, we need to learn to live in harmony with nature instead of fighting against it. If you see some litter on the floor pick it up and dispose of it, it's little steps like this that can do so much in the long run if everyone did it...Even better would be to not litter at all...
Anything war can do peace can do better and that is a fact, so start proving it! Don't hate people unless you have a very good reason to hate is a strong word, Hate can lead to lives being lost and destroyed, try to see the good in everyone and open up your heart, so people need someone to just tell them they are beautiful or that they are loved...BE that person
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.....
The first step in achieving a dream/goal/ambition is believing for yourself that whatever it is can be attained. Then there is the road to it...
Some dreams can be like walking the path to hell, but at the end of the day, who said anything would ever be easy? Obstacles are put in your way for a reason and to set you a challenge, if they were not there then nothing would ever be learnt. I believe you need to go through bad experiences and bad times in your life to become a better person and fully appreciate all the good things that this world has to give....
Begin to love the earth and what is in it. You have to walk on it and live here everyday, so it's time to start seeing the true beauty... Think about the trees and start to recycle more often, Trees give us the oxygen that enables us to live, we need to learn to live in harmony with nature instead of fighting against it. If you see some litter on the floor pick it up and dispose of it, it's little steps like this that can do so much in the long run if everyone did it...Even better would be to not litter at all...
Anything war can do peace can do better and that is a fact, so start proving it! Don't hate people unless you have a very good reason to hate is a strong word, Hate can lead to lives being lost and destroyed, try to see the good in everyone and open up your heart, so people need someone to just tell them they are beautiful or that they are loved...BE that person
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.....
Thursday 25 March 2010
To dance is to love
So today i was in college and Clarice asked me if i could come out of my voice class early so i could go over her choreography for her performance she has to do next week..which (hahahahaha) I am dancing in...
So being the noon that i am i happily left my lesson without getting my EMA form signed!!
Anywho..! This dance is basically a story of two young girls during a war time, both of whom love to play together in the attic of their house..playing with old hats and scarfs that they might find there...
Today was one of those days where i was feeling totally craptacular, so i was very happy getting to actually do some form of dancing.. even if it was ballet which is my weakest by far...
So literally i danced my ass off to the best i could do...which was fun considering my knee was friggin killing me where i twisted it on monday i dance class..
But it gave me a reason to let go of everything, I came out of that room and 1 1/2 later and felt so much better that i actually cried...Dancing is amazing, it gives me wings that i lack on such a regular basis and helps me get out of the darkest of days with much more ease... :)
I found this poem a while ago which sums up dance to me :) ......
I dance for the love
I dance even when i feel pain
I dance knowing theres something to gain
I dance for the love
I dance for me
I dance for everyone to see
I dance for the love
I dance as the sunshine
I dance for the love
I dance with words to say
I dance all day
I dance for the love
I dance even when you leave
I dance and still believe
I dance for the love
♥
So being the noon that i am i happily left my lesson without getting my EMA form signed!!
Anywho..! This dance is basically a story of two young girls during a war time, both of whom love to play together in the attic of their house..playing with old hats and scarfs that they might find there...
Today was one of those days where i was feeling totally craptacular, so i was very happy getting to actually do some form of dancing.. even if it was ballet which is my weakest by far...
So literally i danced my ass off to the best i could do...which was fun considering my knee was friggin killing me where i twisted it on monday i dance class..
But it gave me a reason to let go of everything, I came out of that room and 1 1/2 later and felt so much better that i actually cried...Dancing is amazing, it gives me wings that i lack on such a regular basis and helps me get out of the darkest of days with much more ease... :)
I found this poem a while ago which sums up dance to me :) ......
I dance for the love
I dance even when i feel pain
I dance knowing theres something to gain
I dance for the love
I dance for me
I dance for everyone to see
I dance for the love
I dance as the sunshine
I dance for the love
I dance with words to say
I dance all day
I dance for the love
I dance even when you leave
I dance and still believe
I dance for the love
♥
Gweedo (2006)
In 2006 i met a wonderful cast of beautiful and strong people called the Young Americans, When they came to my school we was told that a member of the cast had passed away, everyone thought that this meant the workshop would not be happening and that they would be flying home early which would have been totally understandable, so i called my mum and told her she might need to come and get me school finishing time because the workshop might not be on..However about an hour later the Young Americans arrived and said that the workshop was going to happen..
Tomorrow is the anniversary of when Gweedo passed away so i wanted to write this now, as i know tomorrow i might not get the time and this is something i want to do so bad, I don't know what i am expecting to gain from this, But if i can make just one person see what good there is in the world, then i am content with that.
The cast in 2006 were amazingly close and when I first spoke to them i remember thinking, 'how are they doing this? How are the carrying on with a smile on their face?' I realise now that it was because they all possessed a golden heart, which meant that no matter how much they were hurting or sad, they wanted to make US smile.
The whole cast were so strong, and when somebody got upset they supported eachother as a whole, i literally remember every single moment and every single cast member from this tour...And when normally i can't remember what i done five seconds ago...it speaks volumes....
I remember silly little things that made me smile...
When Cody got a bottle of water poured over him in impro class and spent the rest of the day wearing (I think) Ashley's pink sweater...
When the first time i ever spoke to Jaimie it was about what will call different items of clothing in England
How the first YA i ever met was Ashley and she introduced me to Jessica because she likes horses..
When Alaina explained in front of us about what had happened and she cried and made me cry
When i said thank you to Shannon at the end and she hugged me, and i felt like i had done something good..
And many other little things, I will never forget how they kept eachother going at the same time as teaching us the workshop..I am so blessed to have met them...
For any member of that cast reading this, i want to say a massive thank you from the bottom of my heart, because you just simply cannot know how much you have changed me and impacted my heart and life.
Alaina and Shannon,my beautiful beautiful girls, i will NEVER forget your strength, even more so than anyone, and i will always be prepared to explain the reasons to you whenever you need to know.
But to all of you, what you did that year gave me courage and a hope i never knew even existed in my heart, I want to tell you all that i love you to the ends of this earth, and i know i will never talk to any of you ever again, but just know that even what I am doing with my life now, is still majorly impacted upon what you all taught me, I'll never forget how i learnt it was ok to cry, and that when you cry together, you will become one...I learnt to love, which i never wanted to before, i never wanted to open my heart, you taught me that life is too short and you have to carry on and love those that are here and not take them for granted...You taught me to smile, no matter what was happening as one smile could brighten another persons soul. You taught me more than anyone has ever taught me before.
Thank you for sharing you lives and beautiful spirits with me, i only wish you constant happiness and peace and that this note will help you find a peice of mind and give you the strength you need if you find tomorrow hard... I hope with every part of my heart you are all well and living your lives just how you want to be... Gweedo really would be so amazingly proud of all of you even now. I love how you still mention his story in every town (Ross) and keep his memory alive the whole time (Everyone), I love how i danced with Gweedo's old stick in shadowlands in 2009 and when Emma told me i danced with more strength than what i knew existed, simply because even though i never met him i felt his strength with me.....
Carpe Diem
Tomorrow is the anniversary of when Gweedo passed away so i wanted to write this now, as i know tomorrow i might not get the time and this is something i want to do so bad, I don't know what i am expecting to gain from this, But if i can make just one person see what good there is in the world, then i am content with that.
The cast in 2006 were amazingly close and when I first spoke to them i remember thinking, 'how are they doing this? How are the carrying on with a smile on their face?' I realise now that it was because they all possessed a golden heart, which meant that no matter how much they were hurting or sad, they wanted to make US smile.
The whole cast were so strong, and when somebody got upset they supported eachother as a whole, i literally remember every single moment and every single cast member from this tour...And when normally i can't remember what i done five seconds ago...it speaks volumes....
I remember silly little things that made me smile...
When Cody got a bottle of water poured over him in impro class and spent the rest of the day wearing (I think) Ashley's pink sweater...
When the first time i ever spoke to Jaimie it was about what will call different items of clothing in England
How the first YA i ever met was Ashley and she introduced me to Jessica because she likes horses..
When Alaina explained in front of us about what had happened and she cried and made me cry
When i said thank you to Shannon at the end and she hugged me, and i felt like i had done something good..
And many other little things, I will never forget how they kept eachother going at the same time as teaching us the workshop..I am so blessed to have met them...
For any member of that cast reading this, i want to say a massive thank you from the bottom of my heart, because you just simply cannot know how much you have changed me and impacted my heart and life.
Alaina and Shannon,my beautiful beautiful girls, i will NEVER forget your strength, even more so than anyone, and i will always be prepared to explain the reasons to you whenever you need to know.
But to all of you, what you did that year gave me courage and a hope i never knew even existed in my heart, I want to tell you all that i love you to the ends of this earth, and i know i will never talk to any of you ever again, but just know that even what I am doing with my life now, is still majorly impacted upon what you all taught me, I'll never forget how i learnt it was ok to cry, and that when you cry together, you will become one...I learnt to love, which i never wanted to before, i never wanted to open my heart, you taught me that life is too short and you have to carry on and love those that are here and not take them for granted...You taught me to smile, no matter what was happening as one smile could brighten another persons soul. You taught me more than anyone has ever taught me before.
Thank you for sharing you lives and beautiful spirits with me, i only wish you constant happiness and peace and that this note will help you find a peice of mind and give you the strength you need if you find tomorrow hard... I hope with every part of my heart you are all well and living your lives just how you want to be... Gweedo really would be so amazingly proud of all of you even now. I love how you still mention his story in every town (Ross) and keep his memory alive the whole time (Everyone), I love how i danced with Gweedo's old stick in shadowlands in 2009 and when Emma told me i danced with more strength than what i knew existed, simply because even though i never met him i felt his strength with me.....
Carpe Diem
Monday 22 March 2010
Charlotte Meekings ♥
About a month ago i took a Young Americans workshop in Balsidon Essex and met a wonderful girl called Charlotte, only once before have i met a person who as totally changed my life from the second they walk into it.
When i met Charlotte i could see allot of my self, within her, but i never got to talk to her really until we done a singer-songwriter performance, part of this medley is the song bridge over troubled water by Simon and Garfunkel. It's a very emotional and moving song for me and can be seen in many different levels, and can mean many different things. After we sang through this song we got into small groups and talked about what the song meant to us, I sat with Marla (another beautiful soul) and Charlotte and i asked her what the song meant to her and what/who she thought of, she opened her heart and soul to me and said exactly what it meant to her, which in turn inspired me to be a different person, she taught me to look at life from a different outlook of which i have never looked at before...
I love having Charlotte as a part of my life, she understands me and my heart on a totally different level to what anyone else would, and is there for me when no one else is, no matter how upset i get and how down i feel. When she asks 'Are you OK?' I can be honest and say to her 'you know what? Right now I'm not too good' because i can trust her to not leave or run away from me like most people do.
I feel that people are quite prepared to come running to you when they are upset/troubled or need help, but when it comes to you it's a different story, and they will not want to know or get involved, and those who do, often make assumptions of you before they actually get to hear the story.
I believe that everyone you meet, you meet for a reason, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse, and in this case for the better. I think it proves a point that friendship can come from anywhere, and instead of going out looking for it, you should wait for it to find you. If i had been told in January that i would meet a young girl next month who would change my life and touch my heart in a matter of two days, i would not have believed it...
Charlotte thank you from the bottom of my heart, for being such a wonderful person and sharing your beautiful soul...:)
When i met Charlotte i could see allot of my self, within her, but i never got to talk to her really until we done a singer-songwriter performance, part of this medley is the song bridge over troubled water by Simon and Garfunkel. It's a very emotional and moving song for me and can be seen in many different levels, and can mean many different things. After we sang through this song we got into small groups and talked about what the song meant to us, I sat with Marla (another beautiful soul) and Charlotte and i asked her what the song meant to her and what/who she thought of, she opened her heart and soul to me and said exactly what it meant to her, which in turn inspired me to be a different person, she taught me to look at life from a different outlook of which i have never looked at before...
I love having Charlotte as a part of my life, she understands me and my heart on a totally different level to what anyone else would, and is there for me when no one else is, no matter how upset i get and how down i feel. When she asks 'Are you OK?' I can be honest and say to her 'you know what? Right now I'm not too good' because i can trust her to not leave or run away from me like most people do.
I feel that people are quite prepared to come running to you when they are upset/troubled or need help, but when it comes to you it's a different story, and they will not want to know or get involved, and those who do, often make assumptions of you before they actually get to hear the story.
I believe that everyone you meet, you meet for a reason, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse, and in this case for the better. I think it proves a point that friendship can come from anywhere, and instead of going out looking for it, you should wait for it to find you. If i had been told in January that i would meet a young girl next month who would change my life and touch my heart in a matter of two days, i would not have believed it...
Charlotte thank you from the bottom of my heart, for being such a wonderful person and sharing your beautiful soul...:)
Sunday 21 March 2010
Dreamin ♥
I have realized that life is to short to sit and worry about the what-ifs, and the 'if only', in a car accident on Monday, and coming out of it very lucky, made me realise that life is a very precious thing that should not be taken for granted. I looked back and reflected upon what i have been doing recently and saw that i take many people, of whom mean the world to me for granted too much and that's something that needs to stop. I saw how i was afraid to say what was in my heart and on my mind, and knew that had to change if i was going to become a better person.
So today i said what i needed to say, to everyone who i felt i needed to say it to, and overall i feel better for it. I'm trying to remember that everything in life happens for a reason, and try to remember that whatever happens it is better to live life with no regrets, than to live life regretting something that cannot be changed only to miss out on other beautiful life experiences.
I know now that i am insecure in myself, and that i have trouble trusting people which is not good and a total problem of mine, but I'm prepared to try and change that starting from now, before i lose some amazing friends and people, that i have been blessed to meet and have in my life...people of whom it would be terrible to lose..
Learning to embrace every moment and make the most of everything that happens..starting to believe in things unseen, and recognising the beauty that surrounds me, a time to open my eyes.
So today i said what i needed to say, to everyone who i felt i needed to say it to, and overall i feel better for it. I'm trying to remember that everything in life happens for a reason, and try to remember that whatever happens it is better to live life with no regrets, than to live life regretting something that cannot be changed only to miss out on other beautiful life experiences.
I know now that i am insecure in myself, and that i have trouble trusting people which is not good and a total problem of mine, but I'm prepared to try and change that starting from now, before i lose some amazing friends and people, that i have been blessed to meet and have in my life...people of whom it would be terrible to lose..
Learning to embrace every moment and make the most of everything that happens..starting to believe in things unseen, and recognising the beauty that surrounds me, a time to open my eyes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)