I know there are so many times i would like to think i am a woman now, and yes in the eyes of the law i am 20 soon so technically i am..but i know i've still got so much to learn before i allow myself to be classed as an adult. But at the same time i'm not a little girl anymore, and thats something that fustrates me no end when people think that i am a little girl and carry on to treat me like one.. (my mother is the worst)
'I'm not a girl, there is no need to protect me. It's time that i, learned to face to up to this on my own. ive seen so much more than you lnow now, so dont tell me to shut my eyes.'
I realised today just now what the meaning is behind this song, and it gets me so emotional because i know that i used to constantly sing this into a hairbrush when i was younger (i know how tacky!)
I really am sick to death of people thinking they have to hold onto me for dear life in order to keep me going in the right direction. I am nearly 20 and like this song states im not a girl so theres no need to protect me. I want freedom, i want to breathe i want to spread my wings...I'm a bird, and the one thing they hate is being held in a cage which is certainly what i feel right now..Yes there are things going on, but i need to learn to deal with that because what my mom does not realise is there is going to come a time (spesh if i move abroad) that she is not gonna be there to pick up the slack of my actions..i need to learn..i want to learn...I make a mistake and she she does not know about it, i face it and overcome it...i want it to be like that with the problems and mistakes she knows ive already made. I wish i had the guts to sing this song. To her, and many others at that. So many times i have been told to close my eyes and it will all go away, but really? I mean i may be young but what i have already experienced...i think i know how to deal with hard situations, the sad ones, the hurtful ones...i just dont need this constant protection that i get now. People don't realise that it really does nothing but suffocate me, not protect me in anyway.
Like even the start:
I used to think, I had the answers to everything, but now i know, that life dosent always go my way'
Well this is something i am still working on because i know i can be terrible when i think i am right and someone disagrees, for example if someone told me to go get my leg checked out 'because thats not normal i can promise you' i will keep on and on going off on one and disagreeing, and i thought that was the answer, unfortunately, i still do in some respects, this is where i need to learn.. but in this example i would be scared of what they would say if i did get it checked out, and i actually do hate hospitals with a passion...but life dont go the way we want it to, technically i should listen to people, and just because i dont want to have to go to the hospital, does not mean i have a right to scream and argue and refuse....I need to learn to just do it.
Just this song, gah!, I saw it from a whole new angle today and it just really made me think.
I know people slate Britney all the time but i want to take this chance now to say shes made mistakes, thats all..just like everyone else does and the only reason you slate her is because shes famous..iff that was your best friend you would...or should at least be supporting them. She's got so much talent and people overlook her.
'All i need is time, a moment that is mine'
xxxxx
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