MOVED TO
http://andtheworldwillliveasone.wordpress.com/
PLEASE STLL KEEP FOLLOWING ME AND VISITING MY PAGE REGULARLY :)
love you all xxx
Saturday 9 February 2013
What is meant to be?
Do you know the final destination movies? Well not to that extreme but you know the whole you can't run away from death theme that that follows? Well maybe that's true...people can fight and fight and fight to live but if they are meant to die, if that is what is meant to be wont it happen anyway? It's like when I was in hospital and I the doctors said 10 minutes later and I would have died for sure and still could have died. When my heart went up to 250, the doctors were amazed at how I was still sitting up talking...I think maybe I wasn't meant to die, like I could be ill and and over again and until god decides I'm not going to be able to go anywhere. Like on those movies, sure they didn't die then but they still all died, because it was THEIR time.
I've been thinking about things like that alot lately very much so in the whole everything happens for a reason thing. I mean, I always believed that no matter what happened in my life I stuck to it but its the same in in life and death... I keep feeling crap because 'I couldn't even die myself properly that's how much of a failure I am' I wasn't meant to be though maybe that was just the reason. Maybe I've been forced over my life to come face to face with the devil over and over not because god hates me or wants me dead, not because he wants me to suffer but that he KNOWS I can be strong and rise up against everything and stand again, then take that knowledge I learnt and teach it to future generations, so they have someone who can honestly sit there and say.. 'Ive experienced all kinds of abuse, have been on a cocktail of different medication and have been diagnosed at some point with every mental health illness under the sun but I'm here, I'm alive... Yeah I have scars but they are the roadmaps of my life..'. I can teach someone not to be afraid of who they are of what they have done...yeah ok you messed up but it's the best feeling in the world when you start to regulate your emotions again. To be able to recognise fear, love, anger and do something positive about it before any bad can come.
I've been thinking about things like that alot lately very much so in the whole everything happens for a reason thing. I mean, I always believed that no matter what happened in my life I stuck to it but its the same in in life and death... I keep feeling crap because 'I couldn't even die myself properly that's how much of a failure I am' I wasn't meant to be though maybe that was just the reason. Maybe I've been forced over my life to come face to face with the devil over and over not because god hates me or wants me dead, not because he wants me to suffer but that he KNOWS I can be strong and rise up against everything and stand again, then take that knowledge I learnt and teach it to future generations, so they have someone who can honestly sit there and say.. 'Ive experienced all kinds of abuse, have been on a cocktail of different medication and have been diagnosed at some point with every mental health illness under the sun but I'm here, I'm alive... Yeah I have scars but they are the roadmaps of my life..'. I can teach someone not to be afraid of who they are of what they have done...yeah ok you messed up but it's the best feeling in the world when you start to regulate your emotions again. To be able to recognise fear, love, anger and do something positive about it before any bad can come.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)