Right so i really feel i need to write this blog, because there's this girl who i s doing my head in right now, so im going through a really tough time and well, i'm finding it hard to express my feelings and reasons behind my somewhat harmful actions (only to myself to don't worry guys), and the other day i got talking to someone who i thought was a good friend and got emotional, blurted the whole thing out and now, well i really wish i hadn't. I try not to regret in my life but i can't help regretting that...i have a habit it seems of saying things then realising after that it was a super bad idea. Basically i've not spoken to them since 'that' night, and it really upsets me and angers me. Literally i have tried so many times to get in contact and i get nothing. I personally right now couldnt give a crap if they don't want me in their life anymore because at the end of the day, thats something you need to just learn to respect, regardless of what you want but it's the whole, blanking me completely that gets me, because it's not helping me and they are just creating for themselves because if they were to just be honest and tell me what they were feeling we could A: sort it and/or B: i can just leave them alone but whatever.
This week i have been super super busy and i am quite honestly happy that its coming to an end, the way i am at the moment i dont really like being in crowded places, and i HATE being in places at Christmas time because everyone is going mental trying to buy everything in time. This week for three days i had to look after my friends horses as she was having an operation and as much as i love doing that it was very much so hard work. Then i also ordered nearly all my christmas presents online about a week ago actually to save me having to go out but the one of the orders got messed up and instead of dealing with it where it was SO MUCH hassle i just cancelled it and went to Romford...well i was nearly in tears on so many occasions...i really hated it, i felt like i was suffocating, so in the end i had to borrow a little money off my nanna just so i dont have to go back in again later. I mean i need to still get things but i can get my mom to do that or something.
Ahhhhh this time of year is driving me INSANE already, i literally have a huge headache already.
