Another year without you and yet i am still struggling like it was yesterday that you slipped away, this time 6 years ago, we were sitting by your bed, holding your hand praying you would come out of this and come back to us, that by next christmas you would be waking up with us, where you belong, part of the family, around the christmas tree, presents being open, LIFE, a simple life, i would give all those presents back without a second thought. Cancer, it took you away from us at the most important time of the year, it made you become trapped within your own body, like a fly caught in a spiders web, no matter how hard you tried the cancer spread and consumed you...suffocated you...prevented you from ever coming back. Loosing you just a few days into the new year a pain that was unimaginable, but you having to spend you favourite time of the year in a hospital bed out of it most of the time broke heart to see.It's always hard at this time, because grandad you were the man that made christmas, you were my grandad, my father, my best friend and also my male role model, you were everything that was good about my life. .I miss your hands i miss you holding me, you felt so strong and you made me feel so safe. I remember how you used to come pick me up out of bed on christmas morning and give me a firemans lift down the stairs and down to 'see what santa had brought for me'. Grandad, i dread this time of the year i really do, i wish i could just hibernate and get away and wake up again when its over...the new year hurts, heres to another year without you...great...
Merry Christmas grandad, i hope your proud of me, i hope you know that you are my hero and that you inspire me everyday to be a better person. I wish you could come back. Love you always xxxxxxx
