Ok, I've not blogged yet again in a while, my life really has been crazy and full of different things going on, I've not had the time to breathe let alone do anything else....!
First things first I'M GETTING A LOAN HORSE!!! I am actually so excited, so one of my best friends Sarah, well her friend is loaning one of her beautiful horses to me and i am just so excited and it's for a cheap price that i don't think you could beat :) I'm so happy :) This is perfect for me and has come at just the right time, i am so lucky to have the opportunity to do this, normally its something i would never be able to think about because of money and everything, but it IS something i have wanted my entire life...and when i started riding my desperate urge to loan/own/share a horse became unbearable...but this horse, he is amazing, and has the most perfect owner who is going to be there to help me every step, although i think i should be ok (i hope)
Second, I'm actually going back to Germany sooner than what i expected to be and i'm going to be doing two YA workshops with my beautiful family and the most amazing thing, is that i am going to get to see SO many of my friends at the first one it's going to be like one crazy Reunion and oh my gosh i am just so excited for it.
The past few days have been really hard for me, and it's these small things that keep me going and keep me happy and give a reason to carry on another day, I even went out with some friends sunday night which i have been to scared to do in ages, so i was actually proud of myself for that one :)
Also something in the near future that i have to look forward to is my short trip to America, im freaking out over that i actually can't wait! My friend i am actually flying out to see, well I was looking at her facebook page today and all i could think was OH MY GOSH HOW MUCH HAS SHE CHANGED, and it's crazy because even though she was an adult when i met her, its like looking back at photos she was just a girl and now shes this even more beautiful and strong woman and i just cannot wait..she inspires me beyond any kind of measure so i know so much good will come out of this trip. I will be honest, i am scared after all these years she is gonna hate me, which is dumb, REALLY dumb because that woman let me tell you is not capable of hate...Then I'm worrying about the plane journey because i don't really like flying, i kinda see it as a thing i have to do when one of my dreams is too see the beautiful planet that we live on...
But i don't know i went online about a week ago to have a look at my flight prices again and they had literally trebled, and i cried so so hard because it meant i would only be able to go Utah and not take my beautiful friend on a trip else wear with me...(i have this thing of feeling guilty alot and always want to make up for it, and i love giving to people so it figures i was gutted, and i was also i admit sad because i REALLY wanted to go to Nebraska, even of no where else...butttttttt i went into a travel agents the next day and told her what happened and she managed to get my flights for even lower than what the cost before! I was literally gobsmacked :) I'm so excited now :) I know i get to spend a little time in Chicago and Dallas aswell :)
Anyway just thought i would update my readers, i really have been struggling recently, and i've been trying to balance everything out, just thought i would let you know about the things going on for me that are keeping me strong. I really do believe that no matter how insignificant they are to others if they mean the world to you then its worth it...
Love to you all.. xxxxxxxx
