Ok so i figured out, that i really do have some wonderful friendships in my life. and i mean ok, some people really don't give a fuck, and they never will, and as if i will ever be able to do anything about that and change it.. It's not gonna happen.
But those very rare people who i CAN call my real friends, are they, or are they not, the best thing that could ever possibly happen to my life. ?
And you know what i also figured out..?
It's the friends who i don't constantly talk to, and the ones in which i sometimes hardly ever see, that are the most loyal and trustworthy, and there for me when i need them...
It's not the ones that go 'oh your my best friend' even though it's clearly not true...
It's not the ones thats completely ignore me until they want to find something out or get something off me...
It's the ones who remind me, every now and then that they will always be there for me.
It's the ones who sometimes just have to give me a hug or say 'i love you' for me to feel better..
It's the ones that say, i will do everything i can to help and understand you..and not the ones that say 'i totally understand' when they don't.
Sometimes it's the people you have never met in person...but when you do meet, you realise your like twins...so amazingly alike..but so beautifully different at the same time...
I don't want to lose those people, the day they go I'm gone too...but i really should start getting rid of those unhelpful idiots who pull me down the entire time..
Oh well...I'm grateful for who i have, and thats all that matters.. :)
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