Thinking....

Ok so i figured out, that i really do have some wonderful friendships in my life. and i mean ok, some people really don't give a fuck, and they never will, and as if i will ever be able to do anything about that and change it.. It's not gonna happen.

But those very rare people who i CAN call my real friends, are they, or are they not, the best thing that could ever possibly happen to my life. ?

And you know what i also figured out..?

It's the friends who i don't constantly talk to, and the ones in which i sometimes hardly ever see, that are the most loyal and trustworthy, and there for me when i need them...

It's not the ones that go 'oh your my best friend' even though it's clearly not true...

It's not the ones thats completely ignore me until they want to find something out or get something off me...

It's the ones who remind me, every now and then that they will always be there for me.

It's the ones who sometimes just have to give me a hug or say 'i love you' for me to feel better..

It's the ones that say, i will do everything i can to help and understand you..and not the ones that say 'i totally understand' when they don't.

Sometimes it's the people you have never met in person...but when you do meet, you realise your like twins...so amazingly alike..but so beautifully different at the same time...

I don't want to lose those people, the day they go I'm gone too...but i really should start getting rid of those unhelpful idiots who pull me down the entire time..

Oh well...I'm grateful for who i have, and thats all that matters.. :)

Sometimes i wonder why I bother...
I'm fed up of the friendship always being what you want it to be, and not what it should be.
I love how i always have to be there for you the entire time, but then, if i were to have a bad day, you walk in the opposite direction and ignore me.
I really thought friendship was about being there for eachother, about a connection that no one else can see.
I wish i could make you understand, maybe you do not realise you are doing it, but it's just not fair on anybody. You pick and choose everyday and forget about everybody else. That is not, in any sense what friendship is about.
I want you in my life, i love you and think you are such an amazing person, however, i think you just need to think, sometimes you don't realise how much you can hurt people by your actions.
What is sad, is that when i first met you, you were a WONDERFUL friend. It seems like you just get bored of people then cannot be bothered anymore.
I can only think of that one fault with you..just one...
Your gonna lose friends if you keep on the way you are.
I don't want that for you, I want you to be happy and enjoying life. But until you open your eyes. You stand the risk of losing alot of the people 'you love'
Just warning you thats all x