Sunday 9 October 2011

Young Americans Fall cast Germany 2011

Right so this blog, i dont think i am even going to be able to START and say how amazing, how simply amazing these last few days have been and how much i have enjoyed myself! So i first walked into this workshop practically shaking because i was so nervous, i literally did not know what was coming, if i would understand any of it, and if i was going to enjoy myself or not.
Well the first thing i realised when i walked though the door was that this cast was differnet, very very differnet from any of the casts i had ever met before when i had taken workshops in England, i saw it in them all, i saw it in ALL their eyes..i saw their hearts and that was just amazing, to be able and sit opposite 40 or so Young Americans, whom are all so amazing and so beautiful. When i learnt the first dance i worked with this AMAZING YA called Joanna and i actuallz have never picked up a dance as easy as i did that one, i think that, in my heart i felt comfortable with her, and with dancing in front of her like i did, and then when it came to dancing altogether and i was encouraged to be up the front and i practically crapped myself. I was worried about what people were thinking of me amd what were saying, and how bad i was dancing...how fat and ugly i looked, the list was endless...it stopped me enjoying myself 100%..it honestly did.
OH MY GOD the next part of workshop1 OH MY GOD OH MY GOD the next thing we learnt was choral ad oh wow there was this YA called Chanele  who was actually from Ireland but anywho...we managed to bond over the fact the we both buy mens clothes and cut them up to make them our own...literally i cant believe how awesome she is she made me laugh so much over the past three days...haha oman, we were learning this number called happiness which i think was in the second day, and this crazy YA was acting crazy at the front and fell backwards over a speaker,,well, Chanele and I thought that was hilerious, i was just about calming down, just about stopped laughing and she started again and set me off, thenn vise verse...i actually LOVE HER she is tzhis crazy ball of energy and happiness...she lit up my life from the very second she walked into it. I am so happy i got to spend time with her, and i have a very large feeling that after workshops end we wont see eachother again but i know im gonna do nothing but look back in years to come and laugh about the memories i have with her... :)
After we had a break we then learnt a dance based on Americas next top modall. a dance which i did not feel comfortable doing so i decided to not do and just sit and watch...i think that, if anything that remians the one bit of workshop i will struggle with now...for as many times that i do that in the future...but, it was because of me being a total idiot during this song that i got to meet a YA called Megan because she saw me trying to hide and just spoke to me, she made me realise so many differnet things about myself that i had not though about before...and oh my gosh i am enternally grateful for that. She was the start of the entire thingthat went on in this workshop that changed me forever.
Ok so i have more....this is gonna take forever im not even done with day one yet! So there is this part of workshop which up until THIS workshop i hated...literally hated with every part of myself  and that was when we had to sing on our own..we would sit in a group stand up one at a time and sing..this part...literally no lie made me feel sick to the stomach with fear, which was actually pretty retarded and pretty dumb thinking about it now but it held me back in every workshop i had ever done... So after alot of pushing from this amaying and verz beautiful YA called Chantelle i sung one line of let it be....and this next part part is the part of the workshop oh my gosh...so after i sung this YA called Angel, who actually lives up to her name, she came took me on my own said i sung beautifully and that she didnt know why i was always hating myself etc....and it was the talk with her...and then with this YA who came over called Micheal that made me realise how much i needed to change, when i came into the workshop the nbext day i literally had that thought inside my head that i did not give a crap what people thought of me, and i did not care about ANYTHING at all that had happened in the past, i only cared about the present and what was going on in my future......
I felt so much different and i enjoyed workshop so much more that its actually unreal, and when we learnt the rest of the show i just gave it my all, i dodnt care if i looked like a total fool, i just had fun, AH OH MY GOSH, when we were learning happiness two of the YA guys were acting the total fool and pretending to speak into bannanna and i think it was Curtis but i honestly dont know, he sdtepped back and fell backwards over a speaker that he didnt see was there, well it took all my effort not to fall on the floor with laughter, it was possibly one of the funniest things i have ever seen in my life, and having Chanele next to me who found it equally funny certainly did not help one little bit...the more i tried to stop laughing, the more i laughed, which is a actually really stupid because it was not THAT funny.
Now Lion King, remember all the blogs i had written about Lion king over the üpast few months, and that blog about a dance called shadowlands well i got to that once again and i actually feel i was blerssed to get to do that because i really thought that i would not get the chance and even when i did get the chance i was so close to giving it away, thinking that i already knew and had gotten enough from that dance, but i really was wrong..I danced centre sticks this time, and how i managed to get that is BEYOND me because the guy who picke3d me, well i had never spoken to him before then, i guess this is the thing the YA are here for though..that dance...well it made me even stronger, i will get the video on you tube asap and then post the link on here so you can all check it out because it really is worth taking the time to watch....i danced proper full out for the ENTIRE thing, even if i did look liek a prat ahahahah :)  
So somthing that my wonderful friend Nadine decided to do to give as a gift back to the YA was to sing them a song and we sung youve got a fruiend,well i got up and sung with just one other girl as a duet..i made one of the YA really cry, just because she knew me, and knew before that workshop i would never have done that, she also knew it was BECAUSE  OF HER MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE THAT I WAS DOING THAT. I am so happy i got to meet her, she knows who she is, and i dont know if im gonna send her the link for this yet, maybe, maybe not....but i was so blessed to have had her in my life for the three short days that i did :)
After if we hold on together, i was crying like a total baby (thats the shows finale) and this wonderful American called Loiva came over to me, took my hand and slipped one of her braclets around my wrist which nearly made me cry, and said whenever you are sad look at the this and remember that you are loved....i gave her one of the rings i was wearing the one that for me represented balalnce in life, because that braclet would have given me that now :)  I want5ed to give something back.  Thebn i had so many kids coming over asking me to sgn shirts and have photos with thema nd you know what it was just so beautiful because these kids, had never met me before, but they thought i was a YA bewcause of how id danced and even when i told them i was not a YA they said they did not care and that they still wanted photos and their shirt signed :)  agghhhh i love kids so much.
So that was OFFICALLY the end of the best workshop i have ever done, but im doing another one soon so most likley there will be another blog llike this haha :)
Love to all my followers in Germany right now the sun is shining i hope that is shining upon all your hearts and making you smile whereever in the world you are :)