I wish that you could be here now, I wish that you had not been called home. I wish i could know if you were proud of me. Since youve been gone I've changed so much in many ways and i just want you to give me a sign that im heading down the right route for the first time ever. I want to make you proud i really do and not knowing if im doing a good job or not can make my vision blurry. I think of the lion king lyrics.
'He live's in you, He lives in me, He's watching over, Everything we see, Into the water, Into the truth, In your reflection, He lives in you.'
I think of them alot and i realise you will always be alive within my heart so i just really wanna know if im doing it the right way. I want you to know that you were and always will be my hero, you were like a dad to me, something i will be eternally grateful for. To be perfectly honest, I dread this time of the year...the build up to Christmas, one without you in it and every year it's meant to get easier but it never does. I'm scared that as the years go by my memories will grow weaker until i have nothing left at all, if that happens my heart will break. I love you, and i miss you, both so much! It just gets hard sometimes, in many ways, even though time is a healer in general, it never gets easier. I would love to have you back please. I miss you grandaddy.
