Something thats been bugging me tonight that i really wanted to get out in the open and just write about... Im not using names because that is unfair in this situation...but i know someone...or have come to know someone very recently who was in a major band and was famous all over the world. When i was younger they also happened to be my favourite band and actually in a million ways still are...i have all their music on my ipod i listen all the time and i know all the words...Alot of their songs have alot of depth and meaning for me.
So a few years back now this wonderful woman went though a really bad time, really bad and publicly to which makes the situation even more shit...i was having a moment and listening to their music on you tube tonight and i came across this awful video of her being interviewed and just breaking down in the middle of it...then to my horror i looked at the comments below to find most of them were still against her i ranted on there too i got so mad i couldnt help it.
If your reading my blog then i fully believe you have a true heart therefore please use this entry to educate others around you as im sure you already know this, let them look to this as an example.
First of all im going though the whole depression thing now and trust me when I say its not nice...imagine being locked in a small dark box so you cant move with hardly enough air to breathe...now imagine that 24/7... thats depression.. it really is evil, its such a strong force and as much as people say its a cry for attention it's really not.
A person with depression is living in a completely different world from those around them..depression is like another person taking hold of you, a person that lets you sit in your own body whilst they take over and poison your thoughts and your actions, and the more you shout for them to let you out the more they will just push you away. Basically...I've had this since i was 12 and its been getting worse and worse to points where ive tried to kill myself quite a few times...its been at points where ive had to be pinned down just to stop me from beating myself to death...weeks where i refused to eat..i would sit and cut and not even register in my brain i was doing it until i looked down...saw the blood and snapped out of my trance state...
Things are alot better for me now...but...depression is an awful awful illness...and very serious...if someone had cancer you would never tell them to just get over it, so i dont understand why people tell you to just get over depression...its as much of an illness as cancer is. very different yes..but very much serious in its own right... people with depression need support and love...not to be called a liar and a fake.
Anywho so the beautiful lady i know...i never realised till i saw that video how bad it was, and trust me when i see her next i am going to be giving her a huge huge huge huge hug. I want this blog to teach you not to judge someone just by what you see...and also that we as humans make mistakes..we need to support and love in order to grow.She was at the point of killing herself...she was a mess...almost as bad as i was at my worst and when i was at that state i couldnt bring myself back so she done amazingly well to do so. Basically people were saying things about her and judging her on one or two little things she had said and no matter how many times she explained what really happened and what was meant people put her down more. There are comments on the video saying shes a bitch and dont care about anyone but herself...HA...when i first met her i didnt even realise who she was because ok i am a dumbshit but shes not this stuck up person people say she is..not at all when im around her both of us normally have no make up and have anything thrown on... She was so down to earth and gentle and caring i adored her from the moment i met her. When i finally realised who she was i had a major star struck moment for about two weeks where i would hide when she was near... (i know fucking retarded but thats me) my mum was like 'Vikkie stop being so bloody pathetic and give her a hug' so i just asked her one day can i have a hug and straight away she was like of course! and it was a hug with feeling and meaning. I mean im ok now i feel just like normal hence the fact ill let her see me without make up! But now when i have my bad days she will sit on the floor with me and give me huge hugs and make sure im ok just like my friends would...shes incredible really and has the most beautiful heart..i can honestly say everything in the media was complete and utter bullshit. I also spoke with her mom and aunt etc so i know the real story behind it...
Guys..when someone has depression you dont sit there and mock them and start with stupid stories please..its fucking stupid...i honestly believe along with her that if it were not for her best friend..well..all because she was hounded so so much by the media when what she really needed was love and support...The media calling her a bully...well that is SO SO far from the truth so far...all over a few words which i believe really were taken the wrong way.
Right and you know what im just gonna switch to the point of view that what is said is always meant...ok well...fair enough...but why the fuck keep on? people make mistakes thats what we do thats how we learn and grow, if everything always went smooth life would be shit, boring and there would be nothing to sing about, nothing to make movies about, there wouldnt be a world....the way i look at things..something is said well its done, you cant take it back...you move on...spesh on bullshit (sorry but i have to say that). Just she knows herself what bullying is like so why would she do that to anyone else...
Please by reading this try and understand where im coming from...no body needs to know the person im talking about but know by not supporting people you can make them a million times worse.
I'm out
if you have been affected by what ive wrote here please visit a mental health website such as MIND or your local health centre dont be alone, this story above and my story to shows exactly what can happen when you leave things. if you have been affected by the bullying side please also find help for that...
thank you
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