Sometimes it hurts instead....

'I won't let you, close enough to hurt me' I fucking LOVE Adele and right now this is my new motto to life...I've decided that from now on, in order to keep myself (and others) from getting hurt this is something that maybe needs to be listened to..I'm learning now that there seems to be so no such thing as friendship, because EVERYONE hurts you, and everyone leaves you, and i know this blog is totally out of character for me, because normally there are people i will say i can ALWAYS rely on, and yeah THEY are still there,but what happens if they go too? I'm just stepping with caution, thats all. Loosing anyone from your life hurts, and loosing someone from your life who is A: your best friend or B: not even really a friend just someone who impacted your life a big deal is even harder. It's broken my heart..not made it better, and i know, that loosing the two other people in my life who i would die for would kill me...literally, that would be like taking the air that i breathe away. I don't want to push them away from me, but then at the same time i don't want to push THEM away from me enough for them to leave forever. From now on i will pretend with them that everything is ok, and even when they argue, which i know they will, i'll just dismiss it...again caution..not to hurt them, but to stop them getting hurt... I don't want to loose more people that i love, and i'm scared of doing that...so i think it really is time to step away now...I'm scared of myself because I'm scared now to love, and love is all you need.

I am not a robot

'I'm a hazard to myself

Don't let me get me

I'm my own worst enemy

It's bad when you annoy yourself

so irritating

don't wanna be my friend no more

I wanna be somebody else'

I was just randomly going though some music on my ipod and came across this song by Pink, i haven't listened to it in ages but decided i would today.

Do you know when you just find one of those songs that sums up how you are feeling in one particular moment, like you listen to it and it's as if the writer literally took the words out 0f you own head.

Well today, that's what this song did.

I think that this song can sum up what life is to many young girls these days, not just me, i mean, there is so much pressure to be beautiful and slim, the media display it everywhere and its just retarded, everyone literally has to be the same, and i don't think its right. I'm doing we will rock you right now in my fmp, and i really do worry that In the future the world will be like, just hundreds and thousands 0f clones, no individuals.

There is such a significant line in the second verse

'LA told me, you'll be a popstar, all you have to change, is everything you are.'

Why should all popstars be beautiful, if you have a talent there, surely you should be alloud to share it with the world right?!?

I hate on xfactor when people audition, who are not the most prettiest or slimmest person going, and before they even open their mouths, the get judged by the audience. how on earth it that fair.?

Why are people told they are too fat to be dancing, just because they are not the 'perfect' ballet dancer....? I have done a few Young American workshops in the past 5 years and you know what i love the most..? Is that everyone is treated the same,no matter what the size or looks....

Is it no wonder so many famous people these days are having breakdowns...The amount of stick they get for having just one fucking spot on the face is crazy!!!! they are human beings, therefore, they should be alloud to have things like this, without it being displayed everywhere for the entire world to see how 'ugly and unfit' they are.

I think that the only magazine i have every seen that promotes real beauty in every single issue is company, and that is why i get that magazine so much. In there its about dressing as you want, and finding new unsigned bands...not about whats already out there and what we are expected to wear...

I dress most of the time so differently to my friends, one day i got in my Friends car and she took one look at me and said 'your dressed like a fucking hippie what the hell are you wearing?'

We don't talk no more, there is something beautiful about walking down the street in somewhere like camden and seeing so many different styles...that's what the world should be about really...

money, looks, age and size should not matter, bit should be whats inside....