Meow

Dear UK cast of the young americans 2006
I guess i will never ever stop giving you a note like this around this time of year. I cant get you out of my head around this time of year even more so than ever before. I know that tomorrow is gonna be super hard for you all and i know that im super busy tomorrow and i wont get a chance to write this out so i really wanted to do it now.
I want you to know i am still inspired and moved by each and every single one of you every single day. Alot of what i have done in my life is based around what i was taught in that workshop with you. There were ALOT of rumors going around my school that day about what had happened and quite honestly none of them were decent...nobody thought the Young Americans would come and everyone was worrying more about their money getting lost that the loss of a life...most of the students anyway. I know for a fact i never expected you to come, if i lost a close friend then had to do workshop i would run screaming in the opposite direction...i was in my music class when you guys arrived and started unpacking the truck and setting up in the sport hall and whenever a student walked past you gave them a huge smile. Now i dont know what was going on inside your heads at that time but for the students you were happy and carefree...no worries in the world.
When the time came for workshop i was so scared because i thought i would get rejected...My foot came out of cast the day before after getting broken and i seriously thought you guys would take one look and be like 'Uhhmmm go away' i had no trust whatsoever in this 'young americans' thing because i'd never heard of it before. Even my teachers didnt know if i could take workshop. But they asked and you were like 'of course! silly question. I was so scared that day i was shaking...i was almost ready to burst into tears i seriously thought this whole thing would be full of judgement the whole way and how would i ever compare to those skinny, beautiful, 'perfect' girls that were sitting next to me. i remember everything from that day... I remember ashwin being the first YA i ever met asking what i done to my foot,  and mishearing a few time so eventually i get to a point where im like 'you know hoofs? mane?' and i got 'OH A HORSE OH MY GOSH YOUR GONNA LOVE JESS YOU HAVE TO MEET JESS!!!). I remember meeting Jaimie. That alone was enough i don't i'd ever met some so insane before in my life, but she made me smile and she made me laugh and she got me motivated which NEVER normally happens.  I remember Brooke and just randomly talking and her saying how she didnt like birds, and me being like WHAT!!!!!?!?!?!. I remember Kaitlin and happiness and the fact i REALLY did not want to do that number i felt like a complete idiot. I felt so comfortable with that number 10 minutes with you Kaitlin (if your reading this) like nowadays i go so crazy in that number its a surprise i don't break something... ( i also burst HAPPPINESSSS!!!!!!! out on trains when im on the tube in London...im surprised ive not been sectioned doing that).
OH MY GOSH THE LION KING before i met you all lion king was just that, the lion king nothing special what so ever just about a group of lions and cute baby cubs growing up. You just.... WOW you made me see lion king from a totally different point of view and i can tell you now every workshop that ive done ive danced like the 2006 taught me, and with every workshop i throw myself more, when i was in germany... we run lion king a couple of times i threw myself into SO much that sweat was pouring down me at the end, the stick i was dancing with became at one with my body... i saw my whole life in that one dance. I was crying my eyes out even though it wasnt the show. You were the ones to start that. In 2009 when i got to dance with Gweedo's stick... i will never forget that, certainly danced for you that year, for each and every single one of you.
I actually want to mention everyone but i have to leave in 45 minutes so i cant but i know i think of each and every single one of you still i cannot and will not forget you. I love you all so much, even the YA i never actually spoke to and even the YA who i took workshop with and never spoke to again. Shannon, Jess, Alaina i remember you helping me find myself after workshop, once everything was over.

Gweedo, oh how i wish i could have been at the workshop before with all my heart and all my soul i could have given anything, know you were certainly not forgotten and we certainly learnt who you are, Alaina even set the story straight no matter hard it was for her, she got up and told everyone what had happened just to lose the rumors you should be proud... maybe a punch on the shoulder and a meow for her in return?  For years your mom and i have been saying we would meet and it never happened, well i can say that i got the pleasure to go meet her with Alaina last summer, i was so scared on the plane going like 'what if she hates me?!?!?!?!?!' She just cried when she saw us and said over and over i cant believe your here i cant believe im finally meeting you. She drove us home and showed us around the house and then was like but yeah your house too for the next three days... i used to come out the bathroom hair wrapped up in a towel spongebob pj's on, all make up off and go much on food... I love your mom of my gosh i love her so much. AND SHE TOOK ME TO THE ZOO AND I SAW A TURTLE REALLY BIG STYLE!!!!!! Argh and your hometown i fell in love with...mentallly fell in love with i cried when i left and was seriously considering burning my passport, Nebraska is incredible. I got to see Brooke again too which was awesome and yet another thing i was really nervous about, i felt at home even with her your whole family is incredible  we sat in her backyard drinking tea (i was on water trying not to pass out from the heat) just talking about you.

Mommy, Daddy and Brooke, Stay strong and keep holding on today my beautiful fam and know if i could be in Nebraska with you all i would  be there in a second hugging you all till you pass out. I love you all so much. Mommy remember everything i told you? about the things gweedo has done for me even though i never met him....? just because of his incredible friends...think of that tomorrow. Urgh i want to be there so so bad it hurts my heart...keep walking i know you can be strong youve done it before, plus you dealt with me and looked after me for three day and imma handful so you perfect. hugs and love to all  of you.

free