A roller-coaster.

Sometimes people put up walls..not to hurt the ones they love...not to anger, not to inflict any negative impact, just sometimes, people put up walls to see just who cares enough to knock them down, or at least attempt to. It's not always someone being difficult...I mean you ask how someone is and they say i'm fine when you know they are not..hug them, say i know your not fine and try to help them and talk to them, let them see they are cared about..yes it might take a while..because trust me i can tell you from experience that some things are super hard to talk about...even the subject of it makes that person feel ill..but at the same time..,don't push too much but be there for that person, and they will find out they can be who they are with you. It's sad that some people will have hundreds of Facebook friends or followers on twitter whatever, but no one actually gives two fucks what happens to them at the end of the day. But it does make that person grateful when just one or two of their so called friends are there..and stay there regardless of everything.
Life is a proper bitch and i think actually is the biggest of all i have ever come across, and i have met some two faced bitches in my life. It always seems to have a habit of throwing more and more shit upon you when you are already close to breaking point...i don't understand that, and i don't think it's even something thats meant to be understood at all.
One thing i am SICK to death of, is people calling others attention seekers without even knowing whats going on..this subject just gets me so made...how dare you judge a person if you have never walked a step in their shoes..?!?!?!?! you should never judge a book by its cover..ever...You get to know the story first on the inside. you can't just take a look a the face, or go from what other people 'tell you' and expect everything to be ok...you can't just expect that you are correct instantly. Argh it just gets me so mad. I strongly dislike people who will go around saying things like self harm, eating disorders and mental illness and just cries for attention. Ok, maybe in some situations, it is more about wanting attention, i have known people self harm, then put the pictures on Facebook and tag their friends in it saying 'this is because of you lot'  and trust me that hurts like a bitch...spesh if your a person that only tries to help others...but even then i thought...well she must be desperate to do that. to go to that level, so yeah, ok, she was crying out for attention...but again...the only people who can judge are the ones who know her full story...and the only person who knows that is God. But in the long term, self harm is very much a private and hidden thing. If you were to go to any school in the Uk and pick out 30 students, there is about a 95% chance that at least one of them will self injure, then if you take that percentage and the amount of students you actually know self harm... there will be a big difference i can assure you.  So how can that be attention seeking? Even anorexia and other ED problems..a person suffering from one of them will not wake up one day and be like 'ok i'm going to never eat' and instantly drop all the weight and look ill. It takes time...so before you judge that girl in your class who is clearly suffering from an eating disorder think about how long that must have been going on for for her to even get like that in the first place without you knowing. How can that be attention seeking?
Depression is one of the biggest taboo's that there is and i hate that because its one of the illness' that needs more understanding..you are never really taught about depression in school..never. The only way you get guidance on something like that is if a class mate killed him or herself and then some person will be called in to talk to the students. I think this is wrong, if students can be taught about the effects of cancer, and smoking then depression should  be put in there too. It could save a lot of hassle and actually a lot of suicides if someone can see when their friend in not good inside.
Ok i just needed to rant this out because it's pissing me off something chronic....remember sometimes walls are put up to see just who cares enough to break them down.