I wish i could be more confident in myself.
I wish that i could walk into a class and be able to perform or do whateverto my hearts content without worrying about what people think of me.
I hate myself for it and hate is such a strong word i know but when want so much for the world, but cannot bring myself to do it..
I struggle to accept who i am.
Today in my urban dance class we were dancing 'locking' which is a form of urban dance. I really more than anything wanted to jump in with both feet and my heart and dance till i couldn't dance no more.
Something was stopping me though, there was a constant voice in my head saying i looked stupid and could not dance this style of dance. and no matter how much my teacher told me i was doing it fine, i just could not believe her. I felt stupid.
Why can i not just take my way of thinking about others and use it to believe in myself to...
urgh.
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