Make it a better place

'I've heard it said, that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn and we are led to those, who help us most to grow if we let them, and we help them in return'
I was just listening to the wicked soundtrack, which i do actually one hell of alot...and i got thinking about a friend of mine who i met totally randomly a few years ago.
So this girl, makes the lyrics to this song so significant...Do you know when you meet someone and the instant they look at you, and speak for the first time you KNOW they are going to understand you and you will be friends? Well this is what happened with this girl. The first time i met her i was crying quite abit...well alot. I was thinking about alot of things and my head was away somewhere in the clouds....she came over to me and asked me for a hug, and let me just explain this...i never let people hug me a few years ago...literally wouldnt let anyone touch me, unless i knew them really well, and from that moment i just KNEW i could trust her with my life and my heart. I don't think she even knew i didnt like hugs...i guess she just saw it in my body language that instant pull back, arms crossed, head down thing i done instantly to try and get away from the situation.
I don't know why i decided to write this blog, but i just felt it had to be done, I want the world to know there is such things as angels...because this girl i'm talking about is one of them.
I love how we sat for hours upon hours just talking about our lives and everything that had happened and the crazy thing was, she had gone though everything i went though, and am going though when she was my age if not more than me...out of all the thousands of random people i could have started talking to, it was her!
Ahhh i cannot even think of the words to write what i want to say, it's one of those annoying situations where you know exactly inside your heart but when out, it just gets lost in a total catastrophe of words and sentences all thrown in together. It's hard to explain because normally in a situation like this i could say oh shes one of my best friends, but shes really not...I love her to death and back and would literally take a bullet for her just to see her smile...so it's not that i don't care either because i REALLY do..i think like for good says, she was brought into my life for a reason, and i really think thats the only way i can describe it. Some people a naturally meant to find each other because they are soul mates and destined to either be lovers or best friend.or sometimes both...then you get the other people we meet, than come in and out of your life...and change you in the most tiny but very significant ways, they do not normally stay long, and theres only SO much they can teach you. Well with this girl is constantly changing me still even years later, thats why i feel so blessed to have her, she really has helped me to grow, and i know that right now im in a fucking crazy mood and all over the place but within that i have reached an inner calm which i had never managed to reach before i knew her...It's an amazing feeling having someone you can talk to who you know is not going to blab it to your circle of friends...because they dont know any of them, and of whom actually understand the situation you are going though.
This weekend i got to spend some time with her after what seemed to me to be years...and it's the caring and how happy my heart felt at that moment, I really do think that talking face to face is much better than over a chat, because more feelings and love can go into it...you can see more what is real, and what is not. I felt so amazed that she even wanted to see me, i am actually an epic fail and normally make everything suck..or at least i think so and thats all that matters to me!!!! It just lifted my spirits up so much and made me feel a million times better about myself..i got home that day and just walked around singing the entire day (namely all RENT) but i was singing all day...something i have not done in a really long while!
So yeah i believe in angels and i believe that people come into our lives for a reason, i want for everyone who reads this to say hello to everyone and get to know everyone at every opportunity you get..because you never know who can change you life...if you had told me a few years back i would meet someone who changed me and would even give me a reason to live when i was suicidal, i would have laughed in your face, but now...i believe in the things unseen...the little things that draw people together and help to make them and (hopefully in time) the world a better place.
Thank you for reading.

East Africa Famine

So ok, i was about to write this blog first but then i got way to much involved into the whole Norway thing and i had to blog about that and calm myself down before i wrote the equally heartbreaking blog...Recently the situation in Africa has got dire, it's been all over the news the past few days and i have literally been dying to get on a plane, got out there and help them all in this huge fight that they are going to be facing. The east of Africa has not experienced a drought or famine as bad as this since in 60 years and it's just crazy that over 10 million people are going to be affected by something like this in the 21st century! Technically we cannot fix the weather, we cannot fix the fact that at this time of the year it can get unbearably hot, even if England let alone Africa, but we can fix the situations that the people are put in, they should not have to sit around in nothing, and have to run barefoot though dirt. They should not have to be starving and drinking dirty water that makes them ill, when most of them are already riddled with AID'S and various other illnesses anyway. 25% of Somalia has now been displaced...It again makes me angry and sad, because i think about the people who have more money than they can actually handle, and it does nothing but get wasted on crap or sit in a bank all day long, even the people who DON'T have that kind of money, have more than what these people do in Africa...well if a little of that was given to these people, then maybe they would have the money to build proper houses, have clean water, food and decent health care. It's not right that people should have to live like this, we are all human beings, living under one beautiful blue sky.

The are dying under the heat of the sun, with nothing there to provide water, or food, even all the animals have died, and that will take years to get back. There is a refugee camp in Kenya, but at the end of the day that is not enough and by the time people manage to get there it is normally too late too...It's time we took action on this...

http://www.redcross.org.uk/

Random Vent

Urgh i really don't know where my creative spark has gone recently, i want, more than ever to be able to sit here and write the words from my heart onto this blog, but i just cannot do it. It's over a week since everything started happening in Japan, and this woman has been pulled out....80 years old, alive, and a young boy, more than anything i was to write about this amazing feat...i want to write how strong my feelings of happiness are, but i just cannot.
My heart still continues to break for the people out there suffering, there were pictures in the newspaper today and one shows a woman crying, standing in front of a wreckage, which i can only assume is her home. It's just so sad, all i can think of is getting out there and helping these people. I actually have gone past caring if i died or not...i mean, if i did it would be for a good cause right.?
It makes me so mad i cannot write out what im feeling, its a total mental block and it fucking sucks.
I have this friend and she is totally amazing with words, and i dont think she even knows it. I adore things she writes, even just little things on her wall, i found a letter she wrote me two years ago...i wish i could write like that, shes simply wonderful.
I did find out today that the YA that were in Japan are back home in America, that is a big comfort for me, there are some amazing people on that tour and cast and i would have been lost to hear that anything had happened to them.
Peace.

JAPAN NEED US!!! WE ARE AS ONE!!!

Why does the world have to be so awful, and why do some people judge by skin color and image? I overheard someone today saying that this whole thing in Japan is a cry for attention and that they were not going to think about helping because they were not English citizens....' It made me feel literally sick, i have never heard anything so awful, also the face that the chance the are English citizens out there is at least 99.9% or even more.

When will people learn that Japan is a part of us...ok, so we might be totally differ net in image and looks, and language, BUT we are all human beings and live under the same sky.

It shocks me to think that people would look upon other human beings as a inanimate object, with no question for their thoughts or feelings.

I keep on listening to the we are the world version that was created for Haiti, and there is a line 'And now Haiti need us' Well now Japan needs us, and i am sorry if this blog pisses you off where i keep on and on, but at the end of the day, just don't read it. If i know this blog gives even ONE person a different view, and helps them to see the world AS ONE. Then what i am writing right now will be worth it.

My heart is still breaking everytime i hear about it on the news or read about it, I think about the group of amazing people called the Young Americans that are out there at the moment, and it makes me smile and gives me just a little hope, that they are singing and dancing though this tragedy...after all music is a language we can all speak, and it's a wonderful way to help take peoples minds off what is going on in their beautiful country.

It's sad, because Japan really is beautiful, and now its just looks like a bombsite, i wish to go out there and help in anyway i can, it makes my heart happy to know there are hundreds of others out there who feel the same way, WE CAN bring Japan back to what it was like, with love strength and courage, and that will also be what gets the world though this tragedy.

COME ON WORLD! x

Heather Penhale

Ok so this blog is actually totally random and off the wall. But today a wonderful and amazing friend of mine Steven wrote on my wall for my birthday, and when we were talking we mentioned this girl called Heather.

It actually made me think way back to 2009 when she was on the Young American tour that i done.

I remember going up to her and seeing writing on her arm, thinking it was this awesome tattoo. but then when the next day she had something different, but also so amazing i was like...

????????

I asked her and she said that everyday she writes something on her arm, something beautiful. It actually really inspired me, and like a dumbass that i am, i didn't even get to know this wonderful person...i wish i had..... I don't regret..never regret, just wish i had spent time getting to know her..

But ok so this blog was REALLLLLYYYY random i just wanted to tell everyone though :)

PS: I'm only dumb enough that i just posted this blog and realised i done it without a picture...and had to do it again argh !

Thinking....

Ok so i figured out, that i really do have some wonderful friendships in my life. and i mean ok, some people really don't give a fuck, and they never will, and as if i will ever be able to do anything about that and change it.. It's not gonna happen.

But those very rare people who i CAN call my real friends, are they, or are they not, the best thing that could ever possibly happen to my life. ?

And you know what i also figured out..?

It's the friends who i don't constantly talk to, and the ones in which i sometimes hardly ever see, that are the most loyal and trustworthy, and there for me when i need them...

It's not the ones that go 'oh your my best friend' even though it's clearly not true...

It's not the ones thats completely ignore me until they want to find something out or get something off me...

It's the ones who remind me, every now and then that they will always be there for me.

It's the ones who sometimes just have to give me a hug or say 'i love you' for me to feel better..

It's the ones that say, i will do everything i can to help and understand you..and not the ones that say 'i totally understand' when they don't.

Sometimes it's the people you have never met in person...but when you do meet, you realise your like twins...so amazingly alike..but so beautifully different at the same time...

I don't want to lose those people, the day they go I'm gone too...but i really should start getting rid of those unhelpful idiots who pull me down the entire time..

Oh well...I'm grateful for who i have, and thats all that matters.. :)

A precious young soul ♥

I just watched a video of a young girl aged nine, performing a lyrical dance to 'Let it be'.

Such a small person, yet so much passion, so much hope, so many dreams for herself, and for this planet we live on.

I wanted to write this blog because that is the one little thing that made my day, It made me feel such a array of different emotions.

HAPPY

SAD

THOUGHTFUL

INSPIRED

HOPEFUL

TOUCHED

BLESSED

THANKFUL

I shed a few tears, by a few i mean alot. I have never before seen a girl THIS young be such a good model to other people, even those much older than her!

She is a great credit to this earth and to this planet and we should feel blessed to have her and people like her in it..

It gives me hope that there will be a future for the children that there will be a light amougst the darkness.

This one, young small soul has provesd that to me.

If only the whole world would think the same way as this young heart. The world really would be SO AMAZING.

You may say I'm a dreamer, but i am definatly not the only one

Blessed so so so blessed......

Sometimes i wonder why I bother...
I'm fed up of the friendship always being what you want it to be, and not what it should be.
I love how i always have to be there for you the entire time, but then, if i were to have a bad day, you walk in the opposite direction and ignore me.
I really thought friendship was about being there for eachother, about a connection that no one else can see.
I wish i could make you understand, maybe you do not realise you are doing it, but it's just not fair on anybody. You pick and choose everyday and forget about everybody else. That is not, in any sense what friendship is about.
I want you in my life, i love you and think you are such an amazing person, however, i think you just need to think, sometimes you don't realise how much you can hurt people by your actions.
What is sad, is that when i first met you, you were a WONDERFUL friend. It seems like you just get bored of people then cannot be bothered anymore.
I can only think of that one fault with you..just one...
Your gonna lose friends if you keep on the way you are.
I don't want that for you, I want you to be happy and enjoying life. But until you open your eyes. You stand the risk of losing alot of the people 'you love'
Just warning you thats all x

Come walk with me

I want you to come and take a walk with me, walk this planet earth, and appreciate the beauty in the little things you would normally never notice.
I want you to see the trees breathing, in and out, in and out. I want you to see the life that they bring to us...for without them, the human race would not exsist. Give them a hug, thank them for this life and for allowing us to breathe.
Walk barefoot though the grass, feel it between your toes and underneath the soles of your feet, this is our world, our home, a beautiful place.
Notice the animals going about their lives all around you, and at the same time , notice the people.
Give the the poor, help each other out, we are all living under the same sky and deserve to be equal, the things that you do in your life time, well they really can be insignificant sometimes, but remember as Ghandi once said, it is ALWAYS important that we do them.
Throw a penny coin into the fountain and make a wish, take a chance, you will never know what could be if you do not try. Anything is possible, any dream thats dreamed can come true, it just takes a lot of hard work, courage and determination. Sometimes you will go back two steps, but then walk forward a hundred. Keep pushing and striving for the dream for you can only fail if you do not try.
Stand on the edge of infinity and look out with pride, what is out there, well thats you choice, so choose to make it something amazing, something beyond what you could ever imagine. The sky is not the limit, as there are footprints on the moon.
Come take a walk with me