Heart from Japan

I just sent a link to one of the YA i met last week, and i realised in doing so that i should actually write a blog about them because they really have changed my life quite greatly. On the second day of the workshop i met a beautiful young woman from Japan called Arisa, we were doing a lyrical dance part of the workshop, and watching her dance literally moved me to tears, i couldn't breathe, in her dancing i could see the passion and hope that she had for her country. This was the only part of the workshop this year that i really did let go in after a little bit of pushing on Arisa's part.

We sat and talked for abit about everything and about her homeland and how beautiful it was, she saw my pray for japan band around my wrist, and as she touched it and said, 'oh my gosh' i instantly felt connected to her.

She was an amazing dancer and i was so lucky to have got the chance to meet such a beautiful soul, more than anything i have just wanted to find a random Japanese person and hug them, and with her i got to do just that.

I don't even talk to her now, but I still think about her and her country every day, and its making me cry writing this, because i really did hold back so much and not enjoy the workshop like i could have done, which means i didnt get to show her my complete 'true self'...i hate myself for that more and more each day, and what i hate more is the fact i will not do another workshop again..even after meeting people like this.

The Young Americans, really are a wonderful group of people, but there is always one or two on a tour that touch my heart in a way no other could. Yes, there were some amazing people on this tour but none like Arisa.

The end of my Young American stories.

KEEP ON PRAYING FOR JAPAN

Random Vent

Urgh i really don't know where my creative spark has gone recently, i want, more than ever to be able to sit here and write the words from my heart onto this blog, but i just cannot do it. It's over a week since everything started happening in Japan, and this woman has been pulled out....80 years old, alive, and a young boy, more than anything i was to write about this amazing feat...i want to write how strong my feelings of happiness are, but i just cannot.
My heart still continues to break for the people out there suffering, there were pictures in the newspaper today and one shows a woman crying, standing in front of a wreckage, which i can only assume is her home. It's just so sad, all i can think of is getting out there and helping these people. I actually have gone past caring if i died or not...i mean, if i did it would be for a good cause right.?
It makes me so mad i cannot write out what im feeling, its a total mental block and it fucking sucks.
I have this friend and she is totally amazing with words, and i dont think she even knows it. I adore things she writes, even just little things on her wall, i found a letter she wrote me two years ago...i wish i could write like that, shes simply wonderful.
I did find out today that the YA that were in Japan are back home in America, that is a big comfort for me, there are some amazing people on that tour and cast and i would have been lost to hear that anything had happened to them.
Peace.

I'm sitting here getting more and more frustrated with myself.

i hate myself for being so stupid as to climb and fall out a tree. It's not even been a week of not being able to dance and i already want to cry.

I was sitting in my urban class today and i don't think i have ever wanted to do something more than what i wanted to do that class.

There is just something so beautiful about being able to express feelings, thoughts and emotions though a dance piece. It's just so free and open.

Everyday when i watch the news, and read about Japan, all i want to do is dance, and i know that seems like a really stupid reaction, but it helps get everything out, for me anyway.

I was looking and flights yesterday and even the cheapest flight is over £1000 there is no way on earth i can afford that and get there to help.

I wish the world would just dance when they feel pain.... It really can heal...

It's such a better way to do it.... Instead of fighting and inflicting pain.

LOVE TO JAPAN

Letter to Japan....

Dear Japan

I am writing this letter to you all from the deepest part of my heart.

When i watch everything that is happening to your country, i feel tears rolling down my cheeks at an uncontrollable rate. My family across the sea, although we may be different in so many ways, we are also the same under the same blue sky. Everyday i pray for you all, i pray for your freedom for you love and for your life...

I pray that those who are living are safe

That those lost are found

And the dead are at peace

I love how all the world seems to be working together to try and help you all, and i wonder, why does something like this have to happen, something so tragic and awful, for the world to realise the need to help each other... I wish it didn't need to be this way, I wish it hadn't happened, but then at the same time i am trying to forget that feeling and work on sending all my healing thoughts to you instead no amount of wishing will change the past and what was meant to be. Everything happens for a reason, please take comfort in that thought, YOU ARE HERE for a reason, YOU ARE STILL ALIVE for a reason, and, more than anything remember that YOU ARE SO STRONG, and you can overcome this...the entire planet is behind you.

Every night before i got to be i pray and light a candle for you, and as i blow it out, i make a wish...for your FREEDOM.....

All my love to you, I love you all, even those i've never met, my sisters and brothers...

TOGETHER WE CAN.....

xxxxx

JAPAN NEED US!!! WE ARE AS ONE!!!

Why does the world have to be so awful, and why do some people judge by skin color and image? I overheard someone today saying that this whole thing in Japan is a cry for attention and that they were not going to think about helping because they were not English citizens....' It made me feel literally sick, i have never heard anything so awful, also the face that the chance the are English citizens out there is at least 99.9% or even more.

When will people learn that Japan is a part of us...ok, so we might be totally differ net in image and looks, and language, BUT we are all human beings and live under the same sky.

It shocks me to think that people would look upon other human beings as a inanimate object, with no question for their thoughts or feelings.

I keep on listening to the we are the world version that was created for Haiti, and there is a line 'And now Haiti need us' Well now Japan needs us, and i am sorry if this blog pisses you off where i keep on and on, but at the end of the day, just don't read it. If i know this blog gives even ONE person a different view, and helps them to see the world AS ONE. Then what i am writing right now will be worth it.

My heart is still breaking everytime i hear about it on the news or read about it, I think about the group of amazing people called the Young Americans that are out there at the moment, and it makes me smile and gives me just a little hope, that they are singing and dancing though this tragedy...after all music is a language we can all speak, and it's a wonderful way to help take peoples minds off what is going on in their beautiful country.

It's sad, because Japan really is beautiful, and now its just looks like a bombsite, i wish to go out there and help in anyway i can, it makes my heart happy to know there are hundreds of others out there who feel the same way, WE CAN bring Japan back to what it was like, with love strength and courage, and that will also be what gets the world though this tragedy.

COME ON WORLD! x

Praying for Japan

I've just been watching the News all day and watching the devastation in Japan is just breaking my heart.
I'm crying my eyes out, watching their houses get destroyed, and their lives, what they have spent their entire life building on being taken out, just like that.
How can the earth be so cruel, how can the ocean, it all it's beauty and vastness, hold such fear and such dread. How can it take away everything....
I want with all my heart to go out there and help, i wish that i could get on a plane and make a chain of people, stand up against nature and help them be strong and fight it, but i cannot, and that hurts like hell...it hurts so much.
I'm thinking of the Young Americans that are out there, Mary-jo, Judy and Bruce, everyone else out there, and i'm just praying they stay safe, they have changed my life so much, and change so many lives, the world would just not be the same without them.
I'm praying and i'm hoping, please god if you are real help these people, help them rebuild their lives and bring comfort to the people who have lost loved ones...
It's so sad...i actually cannot stop crying, it's breaking my heart, i don't know what to write, words just cannot explain....

Please help them someone.....