Make it a better place

'I've heard it said, that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn and we are led to those, who help us most to grow if we let them, and we help them in return'
I was just listening to the wicked soundtrack, which i do actually one hell of alot...and i got thinking about a friend of mine who i met totally randomly a few years ago.
So this girl, makes the lyrics to this song so significant...Do you know when you meet someone and the instant they look at you, and speak for the first time you KNOW they are going to understand you and you will be friends? Well this is what happened with this girl. The first time i met her i was crying quite abit...well alot. I was thinking about alot of things and my head was away somewhere in the clouds....she came over to me and asked me for a hug, and let me just explain this...i never let people hug me a few years ago...literally wouldnt let anyone touch me, unless i knew them really well, and from that moment i just KNEW i could trust her with my life and my heart. I don't think she even knew i didnt like hugs...i guess she just saw it in my body language that instant pull back, arms crossed, head down thing i done instantly to try and get away from the situation.
I don't know why i decided to write this blog, but i just felt it had to be done, I want the world to know there is such things as angels...because this girl i'm talking about is one of them.
I love how we sat for hours upon hours just talking about our lives and everything that had happened and the crazy thing was, she had gone though everything i went though, and am going though when she was my age if not more than me...out of all the thousands of random people i could have started talking to, it was her!
Ahhh i cannot even think of the words to write what i want to say, it's one of those annoying situations where you know exactly inside your heart but when out, it just gets lost in a total catastrophe of words and sentences all thrown in together. It's hard to explain because normally in a situation like this i could say oh shes one of my best friends, but shes really not...I love her to death and back and would literally take a bullet for her just to see her smile...so it's not that i don't care either because i REALLY do..i think like for good says, she was brought into my life for a reason, and i really think thats the only way i can describe it. Some people a naturally meant to find each other because they are soul mates and destined to either be lovers or best friend.or sometimes both...then you get the other people we meet, than come in and out of your life...and change you in the most tiny but very significant ways, they do not normally stay long, and theres only SO much they can teach you. Well with this girl is constantly changing me still even years later, thats why i feel so blessed to have her, she really has helped me to grow, and i know that right now im in a fucking crazy mood and all over the place but within that i have reached an inner calm which i had never managed to reach before i knew her...It's an amazing feeling having someone you can talk to who you know is not going to blab it to your circle of friends...because they dont know any of them, and of whom actually understand the situation you are going though.
This weekend i got to spend some time with her after what seemed to me to be years...and it's the caring and how happy my heart felt at that moment, I really do think that talking face to face is much better than over a chat, because more feelings and love can go into it...you can see more what is real, and what is not. I felt so amazed that she even wanted to see me, i am actually an epic fail and normally make everything suck..or at least i think so and thats all that matters to me!!!! It just lifted my spirits up so much and made me feel a million times better about myself..i got home that day and just walked around singing the entire day (namely all RENT) but i was singing all day...something i have not done in a really long while!
So yeah i believe in angels and i believe that people come into our lives for a reason, i want for everyone who reads this to say hello to everyone and get to know everyone at every opportunity you get..because you never know who can change you life...if you had told me a few years back i would meet someone who changed me and would even give me a reason to live when i was suicidal, i would have laughed in your face, but now...i believe in the things unseen...the little things that draw people together and help to make them and (hopefully in time) the world a better place.
Thank you for reading.

Letter from a friend....

So i need to write another blog, because something has just happened to majorly affect me! I was sitting reading though all the letters and different things in my (now huge) memory box and i cam across a letter from a friend of mine that she had written about two years ago.

Never before has something given me such hope, it's amazing, that just a few words on a paper, which may seem insignificant to so many people has so much impact upon my life. I cannot believe looking now that i forgot i had that letter, i cannot believe i have not looked at it in months, i used to sleep with it under my pillow for christs sake!

It's such a beautiful note full of heart, love and spirit, and it reminds me of that person, and of the fact that the things in the letter, are things they say to me in real life anyway! I'm not going to mention who wrote this letter, i think i would actually die from embarrassment if they knew and saw this....so just in case they do see it (highly unlikely) i shall keep it schum :)

I was sitting there on my bed crossed legged just staring, literally staring at this letter, reading it over and over again, and no matter how hard i tried to not do so, my eyes filled and overflowed with tears, I miss them, i miss them so much, i'm going though so much right now, and i keep thinking that if their letter has that much power over me imagine what that person could do if they were here! There are days right now where i just want to crawl into a hole and die.... I don't think i would be alive without this person, i really don't, and when i'm feeling down, finding a letter like this, really, could not have come at a better time. I am so thankful.

INSPIRED AND BLESSED.

Missing....

I hate that feeling when you miss someone...

The feeling when, you feel there is no where you would rather be than with that person.

A person who helped shape who you are today, who guided your way so often when your world was full of darkness..

A person who is like a mother, sister and friend all in one.

And the beauty of it is..you know for a fact that are like that with EVERYONE else too...

You know their heart, and the full beauty and truth within it.

It hurts you own heart, in knowing you are thousands of miles away from them, and most likely will be for a long time to come..maybe even for the rest of the time you are living..

They are amazing,simply amazing,the kind of person of whom make you believe in the presence of angels...i think, i can honestly say, there is only three people i can think of...who are too good to be human...

I wish more than ever i could be near this person, and just to hear the beautiful voice and words of wisdom.....and to see them smile...and get a whole room full of smiles in return...to see them dance...with such conviction and such PASSION...it makes you believe that dance really is the cure to everything.

I wish i wish i wish..and i wish there were more people in the world like her..it really would be a better place..

A Sarah make they whole world smile and have passion leader...and a Roshni world peace and inspiration leader and maybe a little Wiana helping Roshni with her own added dose of total CRAZYNESSS.... hmmm that seems a perfect world to me... as long as there were horses..

But right now...i miss Sarah more than anything else, more than i have missed someone in a long long while. I miss how when she is in the room, the whole atmosphere changes, its just so much lighter and brighter..

I love her to the end of the earth...I AM SO SO SO SO SO LUCKY TO HAVE HAD HER IN MY LIFE.....

although it sucks..that i'm too scared to send it to the person it's about...

x

A precious young soul ♥

I just watched a video of a young girl aged nine, performing a lyrical dance to 'Let it be'.

Such a small person, yet so much passion, so much hope, so many dreams for herself, and for this planet we live on.

I wanted to write this blog because that is the one little thing that made my day, It made me feel such a array of different emotions.

HAPPY

SAD

THOUGHTFUL

INSPIRED

HOPEFUL

TOUCHED

BLESSED

THANKFUL

I shed a few tears, by a few i mean alot. I have never before seen a girl THIS young be such a good model to other people, even those much older than her!

She is a great credit to this earth and to this planet and we should feel blessed to have her and people like her in it..

It gives me hope that there will be a future for the children that there will be a light amougst the darkness.

This one, young small soul has provesd that to me.

If only the whole world would think the same way as this young heart. The world really would be SO AMAZING.

You may say I'm a dreamer, but i am definatly not the only one

Blessed so so so blessed......

A special soul

I just wanted to write a blog, about a special friend of mine, just because more than ever, they deserve this.

A few days ago, i was having a really hard time, all i wanted to do was cry and i felt like giving up completly. I sent a messagee to this person, asking them if they could come online so i could talk to them, at the time, it was 11pm, this person came online, and in a instant, i felt better.

They spoke to me and listened to everything i had to say, and what was even more beautiful, was that they listened to what i did'nt say. I totally lost track of time, and before i realized it, it was 3am in the morning!

I wanted to share with the world, how blessed i am to have such a wonderful friend in my life.

I learnt how alike we really were, i found i could talk to them, and not be afraid of being judged.

They have such a warm open heart

They heal the world without even realising they are doing it, and thats amazing, so precious. I

wish there were more people on the earth like them, and then the world would be a much better place.

They give me a reason to believe every day of my life and for that i am enternally grateful :)