Showing posts with label freedom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label freedom. Show all posts

Thursday, 9 June 2011

What is hope?

What is hope..? Hope is something that keeps you going though everything, a light that glimmers, and keeps flickering, even when it seems the world has run out of oxygen to breathe in.
Hope is something that whispers in your ear, one more time, when you fall to knees and loose courage for what you always believed in.

Hope is powerful, it keeps us clinging on, when any other time we would have given up without a thought to it's future impact.

Hope is something that makes us fight for what we want, it makes us human. It helps us to learn that mistakes are necessary if you are going to grow at all.

Hope is something that keeps us believing there will be a better day, that this world will change and one day everyone and everything will live as one.

Hope is something that makes us so passionate about the things we love, and makes us want to go out and pursue our dreams and help others achieve theirs.
Hope makes the world go around.


Hope is like a bird


Flying free


Endlessly swooping into the hearts of those who need her...


Hope is you ...



So this is something i wrote for a friend or more a sister of mine, but i actually think she hates me now, i wrote it in a book about a week ago and was going to send it to her, but i think just here is a better idea :)




Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Where where you?


I am sitting her right now, thinking about a dance that i have recently done for 9/11, both the victims and their families, and it shocked me to realise that i remember exactly where i was when it happened. I was on my way home from school in the car, and we were just pulling into my road that i live in, There came a newsflash over the radio saying that a plane a had hit the twin towers in New york city, i was young, and i didn't really understand this, I'd always been on planes from since when i was a tiny baby, and i knew the pilots would not just fly in to a building like that, but then, at the same time, in the innocence that comes with childhood, i didn't think that there were such people on this earth who would WANT to do that, why would someone want to kill a whole plane of human beings, and thousands inside the towers, why would someone want to cause SO MUCH pain and anguish to the world. When i was later sitting on my sofa eating my dinner, watching news coverage of the tragedy, it came though that a second plane had gone into the other twin tower. Then came the news that it was a terrorist attack, i shall never forget how hard it seemed for my mother to try and describe this to me, never, how do you explain something so awful to such a young and innocent person.

So many stories have touched me from that day, for example, the people on the plane that crashed into the field, the people on that plane fought with the terrorists, they knew they were going to die, but they managed to get the plane to crash into a field, sparing the lives of hundreds. They gave themselves so selflessly. The story of the 'falling man' imagine knowing your going to die, and then having to decide if you want to perish in this building or jump, such thoughts should not have to ever be thought about, no one should be in the situation to have to do that. The story of the couple in the north tower, they jumped out the trade centre holding hands, thats love, true love and it brought tears into my eyes.

I don't know why, but the 9/11 affects me alot, still, i know i'm not American and nor did i know a person that died, but it breaks my heart just to see these things happening. America, for me, is such an amazing place, i've never seen a country bound together like that before, everywhere you look, people hold their flag, people with tears pouring down their face, hearts breaking, but still clasping in their free hand a small but still powerful american flag. Flags everywhere, never forgetting their pride, instead of letting it separate them, it brought them together, i admire them for that.

I think about it alot, and also cry about it alot still, LOVE is the answer and i wish people could just see that and accept it, we would be much better off if people did. When the rubble was cleared away from ground zero one small part was left a part of the structure in the shape of a cross, i dont know what i believe when it comes to religion and i dont know if god exists, but i think that was his way of saying the dead were at peace, and free...

So many people lost their lives that day, and so many people equally had their lives ruined, people lost parents, siblings, spouses, sons and daughters...almost everyone. The planes that were taken had children in them, people who were just starting out in life, only the have it snatched away from them. It's just not fair.

I wish the world would just get on and live together, there is no need for killing people.

'An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind' as Ghandi once said.

America you inspire me, such a strong country full of such heart and hope.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL...

Saturday, 26 March 2011

26th March 2006


So today i was on facebook and looking though my pictures and remember after seeing the Young American folder that it is 5 years since Gweedo passed away. I wanted to write this blog in his memory, i felt that it was needed, i mean, i never got to meet this guy but i thought he was amazing, just by what i heard from the people who knew him, and the Young Americans i met that year.

I don't know the full story and i don't pretend to, nor is it my business to know, but i DO know that they day before the YA were due to come to our school, we heard the sad news that one of the cast members had passed away. Rumours started flying around, some that i don't even want to mention, but all i was thinking was,' but the Young Americans are a group of young people how could this have happened to someone so healthy and so free?'
My heart literally broke for them, and when i found out that they were still coming to our school i was literally in a state of shock, i don't know how someone could be so strong. It was amazing. I know i wrote a blog like this a couple of years ago, but i think that someone like this should not be forgotten, therefore a new blog, new beautiful thoughts and prayers of love and freedom.
Gweedo, well he was an amazing guy, REALLY amazing, and i know you are all thinking how could i know that when i had never met him... Well the answer is, the stories i heard, the videos i have seen and the pictures i have been shown. The only conclusion that i can come to, is that heaven needed him much more than anyone on earth could, because he was just to good to lose from this earth, i was gutted that i didn't get to meet him, REALLY gutted. But his story inspired me to be who i am today and taught me the beauty in having strength in the heart. The young americans, for the three days i was with them were amazing, there were tears, lots of tears, and all i wanted to do was to hug them all and make it ok, but i couldnt, i mean what can you say when something so awful has happened. Oh my gosh, i remember on the night of the show and this AMAZING girl called Aliana stood up on her own and said 'our show this evening is in memory of our dear friend Brent Gweedo Mathews' and oh my god i'm crying again now even thinking about it, the strength it must have took to get up and do that....I still cry everytime i watch the DVD and think about Gweedo. I don't care i never met him, i still know for a fact that he is impacting lives. My friend Katie had him homestay and was telling me about how he gave her a safety pin with green ribbon to keep her safe, and i thought that was a beautiful story, i always keep a safety pin attached to me now..A year or so ago, i was hanging out with one of my best friends charlottle who i met doing the YA in 2010 and was telling her about Gweedo, she gave me this green bracelet, which i still have not taken off, i think soon it's going to break because it's fraying so bad, but i will just keep it in my memory box when that does happen. There is so much meaning behind it that its unreal.

I don't know what else i can really write without sounding stupid..i just hope that the people who love him know how much he has changed my life, and many others like me..i hear Gweedo's story alot when i am doing w/s and i still remember when i done the stick dance with a friend of mine, Emma, in 2009 and i had Gweedo's stick. When she told me that, well, i have never ever ever danced with SO much passion like i did that day and that time. I didn't want to really do that dance, i had been crying so much before and all i thought was, how on earth can i go out there and do this....thats when Emma said. 'You know Gweedo right?, well look this is his stick' and it had his name on it...i knew he was there with me and with all the YA and i just done it and went for it with all my heart. He taught me to be a stronger person, when i lost both of my godparents last month, i had to leave rehearsals for we will rock you for the funeral, and even though my heart was saying, 'i can't do this, i cant go back to rehearsals' i did, and i cried alot, i spent most of the time either hugging one of my friends or having some alone time crying..but when i was needed to be on stage, i put it to the back of my mind and focused on the show...i would not have done that if i had not met the 2006 cast. I have a tattoo on my foot saying free, in memory of all my friends and family that have died, and i always think of gweedo as well whenever i look at it....

SIMPLY BLESSED.

LOVE ALL OVER THE WORLD AND HUGS FOR THOSE WHO NEED IT..

keep on praying for Japan and the lost, may the spirits of those now free, guide you to safety.


(This blog was written in memory of Gweedo, thank you for your heart for changing so many lives, and for still continuing to do so. Free.....)

Thursday, 24 March 2011

Dancing though life....


I love dancing, dancing is my life.

So why the hell is it that i feel such a failure compared to nearly every other dancer i know. Why do i have to be so crap at something that means so much to me.

Yes ok so i think that dancing isn't always about how well you can dance, but more about your heart and spirit in it, but in the 'real' world is it really seen as that? With people being declined from jobs just because 'they do not look right' or are 'not good enough' really does not help to argue the fact that anyone can dance does it.?

Dance really is something I adore doing, i dance though everything, any emotion or thought or feeling, no matter what is going on inside my head or heart, i just dance because it makes me feel good. But now I'm coming to the end of my three year performing arts course at college, i'm wondering if there really is any point in me carrying on with it. I mean don't get me wrong, i love it with all my heart and everything I have inside, but lets face it, i am no where near as good as these famous dancers that you see on TV and stage nowadays. I just want to be able to dance and feel the music, i love dancing with no previous idea of what im going to do, just dancing as it comes to me, and thats normally the times i dance best. There is so much passion there, in me and in other people, but the small group of people that are deemed good enough..are literally like clones, and i really dont think that dancing should be about that. I'm lucky right now because i get my dance classes free with the course im on, but in general, wherever you go they are really expensive, not to mention the costumes needed aswell. It's just not possible for some people to learn the art of dance and I don't think thats fair.

For the past few years i have done a workshop with a group of young people called the Young Americans, and you know, they inspire me SO much, they never turn anybody down because of their size, looks, or skin colour. I can name so many dancers, who to me are the best dancers on this planet....Jenna..Oh my gosh the most amazing tap dancer i have ever seen in my entire life, i literally could not breathe when she danced. Emma..one of the most amazing ballet dancers i have ever seen in my life, shes just simply amazing..britney..possibly the most awesome urban dancer i have ever met...,mary-jo,judy,sarah,alaina,jess,ashley,...i could literally go on forever, every single one of them to me is perfect, but i know for a FACT because they are all individual and not clones, it would be hard to get places on some dance shows...yes, for sure they will get them, but if they are auditioning for something like swan lake, it will most likley be, the stick thin, tall with endless legs dancer who will get the job, no matter if they are better than her, just becuase they 'suit the character'..my friend went for an audion once and even though she had the most awesome voice ever, they didnt really want to know because she didn't 'look right' for the part. It's just unfair. Dancing should be about freedom and being yourself, it shouldnt be about money..or looks or age or size....If you want to dance,a nd have a passion for it, then shouldnt you be alloud to..? despite what people think of you. When i first started dancing i used to be so free in it..and now even though i do try doing that, i always feel i have to hold back because i'm being judged for what im doing. In a YA workshop i find it so hard just to let go, even though i know they wont be judging me..all because if this stupid fucked up 'image' of what every dancer should be.

It sucks and i hate it. I want to open a CHEAP dance school, where people can just learn the art of dance, without having to worry about costs of classes and uniform, as long as your are comfortable and can dance in it, come in anything. Dance should be about you, the floor and the world...not about what people think,perfection,and clones.

Wednesday, 16 February 2011

This is what dreams are made of


I was looking though tumblr today and i saw this picture..

It gave me such hope, hope for everything in life that i want..

hope for peace and hope for love.

If there is one part of the world, just at least this one place, that is so amazingly peaceful and breathtakingly beautiful. does that not mean that one day the entire world..maybe, just maybe will be the same...

I know it's a dream, a slightly over the top dream but everything good thing that happens starts with a dream right, for something good to happen, someone must have wanted it, or at least dreamed about it.

I just simply love how full of everything this picture is, SO MUCH could be going on here and you just cannot know.

Here someone could be laughing, crying, praying, dancing, sleeping..ANYTHING....this picture just holds so much...

I love just how clean the sand is, and beautiful and clean the ocean is...it's hard to believe, in other parts of the world people are dying every five minutes due to poor or dirty conditions. It makes me sad, that they will never ever get to experience this, to experience the beauty that this planet has...

I don't understand why the whole world cannot just share, there is enough on this earth for everyone to live a comfortable life, it just seems, that some people seem to live a life of luxury, whilst others are struggling to survive..

It shouldn't be about what you have but who you have..to spend time with nature..ok so there might not be a beach like this near where you live, but i bet there is somewhere equally as beautiful...and you know...you should enjoy and embrace it, and maybe give a little of the extras to the ones who need it more.

Tuesday, 15 February 2011

A little bit of peace...


All i really want is a little bit of world peace..

It's not much to ask really is it...?

Sometimes i am ashamed to live on a planet like this.

I just cannot understand why the world is so full of hatred for other people..?

Why can the world not just live as one.?

GIVE PEACE A CHANCE... thats all i'm sayin really...

And it's all i think about...

It's something i want more than my own life...
urgh, I'm off to hug a tree....

Sunday, 13 February 2011

Thinking....


Ok so i figured out, that i really do have some wonderful friendships in my life. and i mean ok, some people really don't give a fuck, and they never will, and as if i will ever be able to do anything about that and change it.. It's not gonna happen.

But those very rare people who i CAN call my real friends, are they, or are they not, the best thing that could ever possibly happen to my life. ?

And you know what i also figured out..?

It's the friends who i don't constantly talk to, and the ones in which i sometimes hardly ever see, that are the most loyal and trustworthy, and there for me when i need them...

It's not the ones that go 'oh your my best friend' even though it's clearly not true...

It's not the ones thats completely ignore me until they want to find something out or get something off me...

It's the ones who remind me, every now and then that they will always be there for me.

It's the ones who sometimes just have to give me a hug or say 'i love you' for me to feel better..

It's the ones that say, i will do everything i can to help and understand you..and not the ones that say 'i totally understand' when they don't.

Sometimes it's the people you have never met in person...but when you do meet, you realise your like twins...so amazingly alike..but so beautifully different at the same time...

I don't want to lose those people, the day they go I'm gone too...but i really should start getting rid of those unhelpful idiots who pull me down the entire time..

Oh well...I'm grateful for who i have, and thats all that matters.. :)

Wednesday, 19 January 2011

A precious young soul ♥


I just watched a video of a young girl aged nine, performing a lyrical dance to 'Let it be'.

Such a small person, yet so much passion, so much hope, so many dreams for herself, and for this planet we live on.

I wanted to write this blog because that is the one little thing that made my day, It made me feel such a array of different emotions.


HAPPY

SAD

THOUGHTFUL

INSPIRED

HOPEFUL

TOUCHED

BLESSED

THANKFUL


I shed a few tears, by a few i mean alot. I have never before seen a girl THIS young be such a good model to other people, even those much older than her!

She is a great credit to this earth and to this planet and we should feel blessed to have her and people like her in it..

It gives me hope that there will be a future for the children that there will be a light amougst the darkness.

This one, young small soul has provesd that to me.

If only the whole world would think the same way as this young heart. The world really would be SO AMAZING.

You may say I'm a dreamer, but i am definatly not the only one

Blessed so so so blessed......

Tuesday, 18 January 2011

A special soul


I just wanted to write a blog, about a special friend of mine, just because more than ever, they deserve this.

A few days ago, i was having a really hard time, all i wanted to do was cry and i felt like giving up completly. I sent a messagee to this person, asking them if they could come online so i could talk to them, at the time, it was 11pm, this person came online, and in a instant, i felt better.

They spoke to me and listened to everything i had to say, and what was even more beautiful, was that they listened to what i did'nt say. I totally lost track of time, and before i realized it, it was 3am in the morning!

I wanted to share with the world, how blessed i am to have such a wonderful friend in my life.

I learnt how alike we really were, i found i could talk to them, and not be afraid of being judged.

They have such a warm open heart

They heal the world without even realising they are doing it, and thats amazing, so precious. I

wish there were more people on the earth like them, and then the world would be a much better place.

They give me a reason to believe every day of my life and for that i am enternally grateful :)