Make it a better place

'I've heard it said, that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn and we are led to those, who help us most to grow if we let them, and we help them in return'
I was just listening to the wicked soundtrack, which i do actually one hell of alot...and i got thinking about a friend of mine who i met totally randomly a few years ago.
So this girl, makes the lyrics to this song so significant...Do you know when you meet someone and the instant they look at you, and speak for the first time you KNOW they are going to understand you and you will be friends? Well this is what happened with this girl. The first time i met her i was crying quite abit...well alot. I was thinking about alot of things and my head was away somewhere in the clouds....she came over to me and asked me for a hug, and let me just explain this...i never let people hug me a few years ago...literally wouldnt let anyone touch me, unless i knew them really well, and from that moment i just KNEW i could trust her with my life and my heart. I don't think she even knew i didnt like hugs...i guess she just saw it in my body language that instant pull back, arms crossed, head down thing i done instantly to try and get away from the situation.
I don't know why i decided to write this blog, but i just felt it had to be done, I want the world to know there is such things as angels...because this girl i'm talking about is one of them.
I love how we sat for hours upon hours just talking about our lives and everything that had happened and the crazy thing was, she had gone though everything i went though, and am going though when she was my age if not more than me...out of all the thousands of random people i could have started talking to, it was her!
Ahhh i cannot even think of the words to write what i want to say, it's one of those annoying situations where you know exactly inside your heart but when out, it just gets lost in a total catastrophe of words and sentences all thrown in together. It's hard to explain because normally in a situation like this i could say oh shes one of my best friends, but shes really not...I love her to death and back and would literally take a bullet for her just to see her smile...so it's not that i don't care either because i REALLY do..i think like for good says, she was brought into my life for a reason, and i really think thats the only way i can describe it. Some people a naturally meant to find each other because they are soul mates and destined to either be lovers or best friend.or sometimes both...then you get the other people we meet, than come in and out of your life...and change you in the most tiny but very significant ways, they do not normally stay long, and theres only SO much they can teach you. Well with this girl is constantly changing me still even years later, thats why i feel so blessed to have her, she really has helped me to grow, and i know that right now im in a fucking crazy mood and all over the place but within that i have reached an inner calm which i had never managed to reach before i knew her...It's an amazing feeling having someone you can talk to who you know is not going to blab it to your circle of friends...because they dont know any of them, and of whom actually understand the situation you are going though.
This weekend i got to spend some time with her after what seemed to me to be years...and it's the caring and how happy my heart felt at that moment, I really do think that talking face to face is much better than over a chat, because more feelings and love can go into it...you can see more what is real, and what is not. I felt so amazed that she even wanted to see me, i am actually an epic fail and normally make everything suck..or at least i think so and thats all that matters to me!!!! It just lifted my spirits up so much and made me feel a million times better about myself..i got home that day and just walked around singing the entire day (namely all RENT) but i was singing all day...something i have not done in a really long while!
So yeah i believe in angels and i believe that people come into our lives for a reason, i want for everyone who reads this to say hello to everyone and get to know everyone at every opportunity you get..because you never know who can change you life...if you had told me a few years back i would meet someone who changed me and would even give me a reason to live when i was suicidal, i would have laughed in your face, but now...i believe in the things unseen...the little things that draw people together and help to make them and (hopefully in time) the world a better place.
Thank you for reading.

same sex marraige

Ok so i was just randomly browsing tumblr today and everything and came across this awesome picture asking people how can same sex marriage be wrong, when all over the world there are really fucked up things going on with what is classed as 'real' marriage. I might not be gay, and i might not have any gay friends that are married or want to be married...BUT..i do have gay friends so i can understand how something like this can affect people. I don't understand how this world can be all about being equal when people cannot get married just because they are in love with someone of the same sex.

About a month ago i was outside in my (mess of, thanks to my dog) garden with my sister, and she told me she was gay, I've literally never been so shocked in my life, becuase she is one of the last people on earth i would have ever said to be gay...literally...but at the end of the day i actually didn't give a fuck, because i love her so greatly till the ends of this earth,I'd die for her... nothing will change that..I still hugged her alot and managed to sleep in the same bed as her...and it was ok, i felt safe because i knew her heart, i knew i was safe around her. This is a perfect example of what i'm trying to get across..she is my sister regardless, and all i want is for her to be happy in life...it hurts alot to think that she may now have problems, just becuase of what her feelings are like inside...to have someone i am SO CLOSE to that is gay, it's made me so much more passionate about it.

One of my guy friends...he is SO gay its actually hilarious, and he don't try to hide it...i love him for that, and the only thing that upsets him and gets him down is when people judge him just because he is gay. Why should he have to feel that and have to go though that? because its really not fair on him...

I found out a few weeks ago that an ex of mine was now going out with a guy, and it hurt me so much because i thought it was me that made him gay, but like my sister said to me over the phone, he was already gay and i was nothing to do with that..it helped me accept it...and now it just makes me so mad, that he had to live in a world where he felt he had to hide who he was.

I personally would not do that, because i know i have friends who will accept me, and if people don't they can fuck off, if i was gay, or bi sexual, or a transvestite or a alien, or a spy...or WHATEVER i would just say it...

It's not fair that people have to try and be something they are not, just so they don't have to go though they heartache of being treated like shit..spesh guys, i know some people won't agree with me but i really do think its harder for them than what it is girls.

just from this blog want to get the point across, i want nothing but the best for my friends, and i couldnt give a fuck who they are or what they are. how can THEY...and their LIFE be thrown away..its out of order and its not fair.

Just sayin.