Where where you?

I am sitting her right now, thinking about a dance that i have recently done for 9/11, both the victims and their families, and it shocked me to realise that i remember exactly where i was when it happened. I was on my way home from school in the car, and we were just pulling into my road that i live in, There came a newsflash over the radio saying that a plane a had hit the twin towers in New york city, i was young, and i didn't really understand this, I'd always been on planes from since when i was a tiny baby, and i knew the pilots would not just fly in to a building like that, but then, at the same time, in the innocence that comes with childhood, i didn't think that there were such people on this earth who would WANT to do that, why would someone want to kill a whole plane of human beings, and thousands inside the towers, why would someone want to cause SO MUCH pain and anguish to the world. When i was later sitting on my sofa eating my dinner, watching news coverage of the tragedy, it came though that a second plane had gone into the other twin tower. Then came the news that it was a terrorist attack, i shall never forget how hard it seemed for my mother to try and describe this to me, never, how do you explain something so awful to such a young and innocent person.

So many stories have touched me from that day, for example, the people on the plane that crashed into the field, the people on that plane fought with the terrorists, they knew they were going to die, but they managed to get the plane to crash into a field, sparing the lives of hundreds. They gave themselves so selflessly. The story of the 'falling man' imagine knowing your going to die, and then having to decide if you want to perish in this building or jump, such thoughts should not have to ever be thought about, no one should be in the situation to have to do that. The story of the couple in the north tower, they jumped out the trade centre holding hands, thats love, true love and it brought tears into my eyes.

I don't know why, but the 9/11 affects me alot, still, i know i'm not American and nor did i know a person that died, but it breaks my heart just to see these things happening. America, for me, is such an amazing place, i've never seen a country bound together like that before, everywhere you look, people hold their flag, people with tears pouring down their face, hearts breaking, but still clasping in their free hand a small but still powerful american flag. Flags everywhere, never forgetting their pride, instead of letting it separate them, it brought them together, i admire them for that.

I think about it alot, and also cry about it alot still, LOVE is the answer and i wish people could just see that and accept it, we would be much better off if people did. When the rubble was cleared away from ground zero one small part was left a part of the structure in the shape of a cross, i dont know what i believe when it comes to religion and i dont know if god exists, but i think that was his way of saying the dead were at peace, and free...

So many people lost their lives that day, and so many people equally had their lives ruined, people lost parents, siblings, spouses, sons and daughters...almost everyone. The planes that were taken had children in them, people who were just starting out in life, only the have it snatched away from them. It's just not fair.

I wish the world would just get on and live together, there is no need for killing people.

'An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind' as Ghandi once said.

America you inspire me, such a strong country full of such heart and hope.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL...

I miss our friendship

I miss you, too much, wayyyyy to much, I'm sitting here tears pouring down my face, wishing you were next to me. I need you love and i need you hugs, I cannot believe i didnt realise before just how much i miss you, it actually hurts, more than any other pain i could describe.

I'm scared to tell you, because we never really talk anymore, i don't want you to think im obsessed, i guess it's just that we used to be SO INCREDIBLY close, and now, well now we are just not...I found a picture of us from a few years ago and it just brought back all of the good memories and good times that we had together.

You were always there for me, and we literally told each other everything, I don't know what changed, your you and i'm me, i guess that its this thing we call life, and nothing lasts forever no matter how much you want it to. I just wish we could be like we were, where we could call each other and text just to say i love you or check in. I took that friendship for granted, and now it's gone, well i miss it one hell of alot.

I don't wish to turn back time, because at the end of the day, i would be back here anyway, it happened for a reason, i just wish that, this was not what had to happen...

I miss you and our friendship.

All my love.

Praying for Japan

I've just been watching the News all day and watching the devastation in Japan is just breaking my heart.
I'm crying my eyes out, watching their houses get destroyed, and their lives, what they have spent their entire life building on being taken out, just like that.
How can the earth be so cruel, how can the ocean, it all it's beauty and vastness, hold such fear and such dread. How can it take away everything....
I want with all my heart to go out there and help, i wish that i could get on a plane and make a chain of people, stand up against nature and help them be strong and fight it, but i cannot, and that hurts like hell...it hurts so much.
I'm thinking of the Young Americans that are out there, Mary-jo, Judy and Bruce, everyone else out there, and i'm just praying they stay safe, they have changed my life so much, and change so many lives, the world would just not be the same without them.
I'm praying and i'm hoping, please god if you are real help these people, help them rebuild their lives and bring comfort to the people who have lost loved ones...
It's so sad...i actually cannot stop crying, it's breaking my heart, i don't know what to write, words just cannot explain....

Please help them someone.....

We are the ones who make a brighter day so lets start giving

'Rural girls have the same dreams as girls everywhere, but they are destroyed by poverty.'

I was just browsing on my twitter account and saw that someone had posted this quote, i mean really, where is the fairness in it.? I'm sick of hearing about people who lose out on things that others can get so easily, just because of money.

I'm talking about this in a big scale, you could go to Africa and find one of the most talented singers that this earth could ever find, a person who wants to share their passion with the world, someone who could be as famous as the wonderful and amazing John Lennon. But will they ever get a chance to show that? No. because they are struggling to survive and make ends meet, and sometimes they will even die young, because they do not even have the money to be alive....a talented and beautiful, individual life, gone, just like that.

It makes me cry that such a beautiful world could be so mean and so horrible to an innocent person, i read a story recently which was about a girl who had bought NINE dresses for her wedding day, all at over £1000 each, and ok, i think some of the comments made about her were out of order, but if shes got that much money to throw around, why is she not giving it to someone who's life it could change..? She is only going to wear them once for christs sake! The money from one dress alone could save a life....but whatever, that's just what i think....

I mean even in England, where compared to some countries and people, EVERYONE is rolling in it, there are thousand of people who are losing out on their dreams, just because of having the lack of funds...look at uni fees reaching a retarded level, and to add the fact all funding is being cut, it makes it impossible for SO MANY people to actually go to uni and make something AMAZING of their life...The government are fucking retarded what they don't realize is that the children are the future, they need to teach and educate them, and help them, not throw them in the corner because they do not come form rich families...by doing that they could be losing out on some amazing doctors,lawers...anyone...there could even be a person there who will find the cure for cancer, but will never get the chance because the government don't give a shit...

Urgh it annoys me...yeah so it might cost them money now, but think in the future how much that child will give back....

Idiots...the worlds people are destroying their planet and their own lives without even realising it.

wondering...

I hate feeling like this.
That feeling I've done something wrong, and even worse the feeling that your lying to me when i ask if your ok.
We used to be best friends, more like sisters, even twins...
and now...well everything has changed...
I can't talk to you like I used to, it hurts like hell, you were one of the people i was closest too, i mean, i could always be myself around you, i never had to hide who i was or pretend to be a different person to what i really am.
Maybe i am being paranoid i don't know, maybe i am being really stupid but i really have this feeling that what i think is true, is true.
I wish i knew what happened and what made everything change so suddenly. i sometimes wish i had not come to visit you the last time, because sincce then, everything has become fucked up.
Oh i don'tknow...i wish things were differnet..
and maybe just maybe, i wish i was not so paranoid!