A letter home

A little something i wrote though the eyes of a soldier who lost their life in battle....

I was watching over you last night.
I saw that you were crying... that nothing seemed all right.
In your head i felt the hopelessness that was wighing down your soul
All the what if's and maybes, that we'll never get a chance to know.
I desperately wanted to hold you pull you tight in to my arms
Kiss you, tell you that i love you...even though we have to be apart.
Tell my dad that i don't regret it Following in his shoes.
this was my destiny i had nothing less to loose...
I see you you take a sharp breath in and hold it for a while
SILENCE then you break down again all you do is cry
I wish you were able to smile, and be happy for me, i died a hero fighting for my country the best thing that any one could be!
I've thrown away my gun, i'm leaving behind the war, the trouble and the crying, I'm finally free.
You will love it here and when it's your time i'll see you again
But for now i want you to live...remember death is not the end.
Smile, be happy and achieve you goals, never give up, you cannot know what the future holds.
As i leave i slightly brush you on the cheek, your lips begin to smile, and quietly you weep.
Thank you i can feel you, your love is all around.

Attack on Norway

It's just come up all over the news about Norway and i really do begin to wonder what the fuck is wrong with this earth and the people in it. I know that Norway is one of the last countries i would expect this to happen to, this is a fairly quiet country that does not really cause trouble. It worries me that this is now starting to happen in the countries in where we would have once deemed safe to live in. There is reported already to be seven people dead, and more seriously injured, and ok so that might only be 'seven' lives at the moment, but each one of them is precious...by destroying that life, you have broken the hearts of many others and took away someones right to live, something that no one, apart from god, has the right to decide. There is also meant to be a gunman on the loose of a island nearby to Norway, i mean really WHAT THE FUCK?!? There were people hiding in bushes and people trying to SWIM off the island just to get away. I don't understand it...The world is falling apart, and people are not caring, there is only so long you can sweep something like this away as if it does not exist, and then by the time people realise that its a problem that needs addressing, it's too late the worlds gone.

It just gets me so angry, I'm sitting here crying, because it just hurts my heart to see this world, the planet we live on, in such a freaking mess all the time, i don't understand, i cannot begin to understand..what must have been going though the minds of the people who planted the bombs, and what it must be like for the ones left suffering..people always talk about the dead, but rarely the are the people left behind thought about straight away...thats always after, after the time when they need the help the most....it's just awful.

I'm not saying that Norway is the perfect country and im not saying that this was going to happen...what i'm saying is, this was clearly an attack to simply kill...in a low risk country, to put more people all over the world in constant fear.

Norway is looking like a war zone, no where should look like that...guns need to be put down, the whole idea of bombs needs to be thrown away and the world needs to live in 100% peace, and i'm sorry if you don't agree with that, because it's something i'm going to fight for till i die.

I'm sitting here getting more and more frustrated with myself.

i hate myself for being so stupid as to climb and fall out a tree. It's not even been a week of not being able to dance and i already want to cry.

I was sitting in my urban class today and i don't think i have ever wanted to do something more than what i wanted to do that class.

There is just something so beautiful about being able to express feelings, thoughts and emotions though a dance piece. It's just so free and open.

Everyday when i watch the news, and read about Japan, all i want to do is dance, and i know that seems like a really stupid reaction, but it helps get everything out, for me anyway.

I was looking and flights yesterday and even the cheapest flight is over £1000 there is no way on earth i can afford that and get there to help.

I wish the world would just dance when they feel pain.... It really can heal...

It's such a better way to do it.... Instead of fighting and inflicting pain.

LOVE TO JAPAN

Are you worth it...?

I cannot believe that i am saying this

addmitting that it's true.

I really could not live without you

I simply don't know what i do.

Your like a drug i need you

everyday i need more and more

you crush me from the inside

destory everything i stand for

It's actually quite patheitic

what with all the fucking lies

that i still believe and want you

forever in my life.

I hate you being with me

but then I'd hate more if you wernt

I love you arms around me

Even though it always hurts

Why is it always like this

I'm at war with my own heart.

I keep saying i'm better off without you

But my heart won't let us part.

One day maybeI'll wake up

and my heart then will decide

if i can or cannot live without you

and keep intact my pride....

Help for the heroes

Ok, so I've been thinking about it,

It really really is time that people started to realise exactly what our heroes do for us, and actually give time to thank them.

There is this amazing charity called help the heroes, and last night i was just reading on there some of the things these poor soldiers have to go though, even if they do not lose their life, quite a few are left with a disability, and sometimes even loose limbs. That's not even adding into the mix the emotional and mental trauma they suffer.

So think about it, while you are sitting at home, drinking tea, reading a newspaper of watching TV, please just take time to think about the people out there on the front line, battling for your freedom, for you to be able to live and sit and do exactly what you do.

I'm not saying you dont have a right to do what you want to do, but i'm saying you should give thought the other men and woman out there. Say a prayer and light a candle for them, and if you have some money left over at the end of the week instead of wasting it, how about giving it to the charity..

Buy a h4h band...or there are other things you can by on there site..think about it. the money goes to an extremely good cause and not to mention the publicity the charity will get..

I wear my help the heroes band with pride and you should to..

Peace out x

my daddy up above..

Daddy i don't understand, i am only three, mummy said you went away to join in the army. She said you was a brave man, and that she was so proud, she said you always made a difference and stood out from the crowd.

She said there were some bad men and they had been very bad, made alot of people fight and made them very sad, that daddy was a soldier, and he stood for peace and love, that he had gone to make these bad men, be friends again and hug.

But then one day mummy was crying i asked her what was wrong, she said ' baby daddy is not coming home now' I wondered what i had done wrong.

She said you'd gone to live with the angels, way high up in the sky above, and that i was not to worry you were surrounded with so much love.

I asked mummy if one day, if i could come visit you with the angels and play, but she said that daddy, you were to far away, and i couldn't get there to play not even by a plane.

I cried a little for you but wiped the tears from my eyes, i needed to be strong for mummy, a night i heard her cries.

We miss you daddy, like alot, really alot! I wish you would come home now, i don't like the word 'gone'. Mummy said it was ok, if i wanted to cry, she said that it was normal, but i don't like to cry.

If you could come home now, then we can run and play, mummy would be happy and me too in every way!

But for now i say a prayer for you before i close my eyes.. pray that you are ok, and happy in the sky..

until the day i see you again, i miss you daddy just so much..

I really really love you..my daddy up above...

Ok, so this is pretty crap, but i wrote it just now, i was watch a tv thing about war, and there was this little girl, who was three years old, she lost her dad in the war.just for a second i tried to put myself in her shoes and imagine what it would be like to have and lose someone you love in the army, and i wrote this..

I don't know, i guess that i'm trying to get across the point of what the war and fighting can do to everyone, it really does affect the entire world

give peace and chance

this should not have to happen as often as it does

war is over...but like john lennon said, only if you want it..

PS: The intention of this is to move you, that, is the only way sometimes to get a message across..but you know what...

if this did move you then i want to thank you, you have a heart and a soul, there is hope for this world.