Ten years tomorrow

My heart is breaking. Tomorrow is ten years..ten years and nothing has changed, the 9/11 is still affecting people...still tearing apart lives, and breaking down families which are already broken beyond repair. I'm sitting crying my eyes out this is affecting me so much, the 9/11 never gets better...every year the whole world goes into mourning again as if it was happening all over again...
I found this vvideo, it's a ten year tribute to the 9/11 victims and i wanted to share it with my readers...please pass this on..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZE4wjGp-80A
Nothing even related to this video, there was a story about a young girl on TV whom refuses to marry her boyfriend because her father is not there to walk her down the isle, is that not proof how much this is affecting people..I am just SO happy she has her boyfriend who understands her, she certainly deserves it.
I can't believe it...I can't believe it's ten years...
Next year when i am in America i would  love to visit ground zero, I'm pretty sure that will happen, and that i will get to be there at some point even if it is only for a day...
I don't know, what is crazy, is that i'm not religious, i don't even know if i believe in god or not, but i want to go there and pray for the lives that have been lost...I think i need closure, just to be there and be able to really see the place and send my infinite love...it will help me maybe get over it... 
I know it's stupid because I'm not American nor do i even know anyone who died in the tragedy, i am just a person who loves everyone and hates to see people hurting, i mourn even when i don't know the victims personally...i know thats bad and i'm sorry. I just thing that human beings should be decent to each other and not hurt eachother all the time, i wish people would lay down their guns, knifes, and bombs and everything destructive hold hands and vow world peace... I guess it's one of those things I'm gonna keep wishing for though that will never happen. 
What sickens me to the core is that there are now even more threats for tomorrow, that more places are going to be bombed, that planes are going to be taken over, people being held hostage, i mean WHAT THE HELL. You have put this world and the people on it though enough and on one of the hardest days of the year you want to go and make it worse by installing fear into everyone...yeah...nice move..It really does make me sick. I don't even want to be alive sometimes i am so ashamed of this planet and some of the evil human beings on it. 
May god bless the families, the victims and America... 
I love you all xxxx

london riots!

Ok, so this is a blog i was meant to write ages ago and i'm really sorry i never got around to it! I have just been so busy that it's crazy and when i have had the time i have not been in the right place within myself to be able to sit down and write about something the moves me so much.
The first thing i head about the riots in London we as i stepped off the plane landing back in England and my friend text me to say that i should get back on the plane because i would not like what was happening...by the time i got into passport control area i knew that there were fights, i knew there were fires, but nothing prepared my eyes or heart for what i saw on the news screen above me..London...our country was literally a ball of flames...the first feeling a felt was anger, the pure hatred for people who would do something like this and then i cried, i cried like a fucking baby, i hated it because everyone was looking at me...in my heart i couldnt believe that what they were watching on the news did not seem to bother them in the slightest, I even overheard one woman saying to her husband 'well as long as it does not come near us i couldn't care less'
Here's the thing..lives were lost over the time that the riots reigned our streets, building burnt down, people lost their homes, their possessions, their jobs...everything...I simply could not understand what all of this fighting would even solve in the first place...In my eyes, it made everything a millions times worse. People were saying it was because of the recession and how much money the government is taking off of them, but for fucks sake how many millions of pounds in damage did you cause which now has to be cleared up, repaired, or replaced.?
The children growing up now are our future, they are the ones who need to keep this planet going when we are gone...for our children..and our children's children...for our friends, family, and many other generations to come. They are the ones who you will rely upon when you grow old (assuming theyll be a planet left the way you are going), so it's about time to start giving them a chance of a future, otherwise we have no hope. How can it be right to teach them that it is ok to go out and set fire to things? how is it at all ok to teach our children if they want something they can just take it? They need to learn that in life some things are worth fighting for, otherwise they are not going to be getting anywhere.
Then theres not to mention the global warming aswell, the fumes going into the sky, the pollution, and petrol needed to fuel the police cars etc...the water needed for the fires....fresh water that could be going to the more needy...the trees being cut down to create new buildings....its ridiculous...
England you need to sort it out, look what you are doing to our country, you dont realise what youve got till its gone, and once its gone well your pretty much screwed arnt you?

Attack on Norway

It's just come up all over the news about Norway and i really do begin to wonder what the fuck is wrong with this earth and the people in it. I know that Norway is one of the last countries i would expect this to happen to, this is a fairly quiet country that does not really cause trouble. It worries me that this is now starting to happen in the countries in where we would have once deemed safe to live in. There is reported already to be seven people dead, and more seriously injured, and ok so that might only be 'seven' lives at the moment, but each one of them is precious...by destroying that life, you have broken the hearts of many others and took away someones right to live, something that no one, apart from god, has the right to decide. There is also meant to be a gunman on the loose of a island nearby to Norway, i mean really WHAT THE FUCK?!? There were people hiding in bushes and people trying to SWIM off the island just to get away. I don't understand it...The world is falling apart, and people are not caring, there is only so long you can sweep something like this away as if it does not exist, and then by the time people realise that its a problem that needs addressing, it's too late the worlds gone.

It just gets me so angry, I'm sitting here crying, because it just hurts my heart to see this world, the planet we live on, in such a freaking mess all the time, i don't understand, i cannot begin to understand..what must have been going though the minds of the people who planted the bombs, and what it must be like for the ones left suffering..people always talk about the dead, but rarely the are the people left behind thought about straight away...thats always after, after the time when they need the help the most....it's just awful.

I'm not saying that Norway is the perfect country and im not saying that this was going to happen...what i'm saying is, this was clearly an attack to simply kill...in a low risk country, to put more people all over the world in constant fear.

Norway is looking like a war zone, no where should look like that...guns need to be put down, the whole idea of bombs needs to be thrown away and the world needs to live in 100% peace, and i'm sorry if you don't agree with that, because it's something i'm going to fight for till i die.

7th July 2005

7/7/2005..the day that London was shaken with the horror of terror attacks by the same evil madman who planned the 9/11. Like the 9/11 i remember exactly where i was upon hearing the news of these attacks. I was sitting in a hospital waiting room waiting to see if i could be fitted in for an urgent MRI scan. My ENT consultant was really worried and was getting his staff to run around seeing if they could fit me in. I remember the phone ringing and a conversation going on where it was clear that the patient was cancelling their appointment. After getting off the phone the receptionist spoke to another woman and said that there was a free MRI slot as a patient was stuck in traffic due to an incident in London...I didn't think anything of it, it was London, and there was ALWAYS things happening there and it went to the back of my mind especially when the slot was given to me, having claustrophobia the idea of being locked in a tube that long scared me to death.

After the scan was finished i was told to go into town and get something to drink whilst i was waiting for my results...so as per normal for me, i asked my mom if we could drive to a nearby Starbucks..When we got in the car and turned the radio on, was when where heard about everything that was going on in London, my heart was beating so fast i could barely breathe, it seemed to me like 9/11 was only a day ago, and now London had been targeted to. All i could register was the word 'bomb' and 'people dead'...even when i went back to get my results and were told i would need a operation asap i didn't really care, i was in a state of shock, pure shock. I couldn't understand, yet again, why people would commit such evil deeds.

When i later got home and saw everything unfolding before my eyes on TV I broke down even more so, people running, people screaming, people crying, people in pain, people dying, the emotions that kill me to see, the emotions that no human being should have to feel, that no living being should feel. After a while i began thinking about the families, what they must have been feeling 4 suicide bombers called 52 people that day, and ok, so maybe that was not as big as the thing that happened in America, but lives are lost, and people are still left behind grieving for something that no normal person would go out there and do.

Today family and friends of lost loved ones gathered in Hyde Park for a memorial, proof that the day that happened six years ago now lives on strongly in their minds, and it will do forever.

Things like this just shouldn't happen there is no need for it..

THIS is what i'm about, i'm about making the world see one person at time that world peace is needed, and if just one person reads this message, and changes their outlook, then it's worth it, if it makes just one person think about world peace and that we can do it together, then again it is worth it.

You may say i'm a dreamer but im not the only one, i hope some day that you will join us and the world WILL live as one.