Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts

Monday, 14 March 2011

Fragile

Last night i went out on a nature walk with my friend, we got some REALLY amazing photos, i decided i would climb a tree and take a picture of the horses in the sunset, at the time it was a really good idea, but my foot slipped and i fell. It was so scary, i can't remember a thing of it, i remember feeling myself fall and that was it, i know that only now am i starting to remember that evening at all, and thats with looking though pictures...It's still hazy though.

I know, it made me grateful though, it made me realise how precious and yet fragile life is, i am so so lucky so lucky, yes I'm agony, but i've come out of it with bruising and severe whiplash, i was in a neck brace and on a spinal board for hours until they gave me a scan, they really thought i had done some serious damage, I'm lucky, in fact, lucky does not even come close....

I can't dance for two weeks though, i don't understand what i am going to do with myself, dancing is my life, and to think i'm going to have to abstain from it..makes me feel like im suffocating, and no horse riding or exercise for two weeks, that don't help either.
But i dont know, it made me think about all the people that lose their lives young, and how they did not deserve it. I'm lucky, and i need to start being more grateful.
(above is the picture that nearly cost my life)

Saturday, 19 February 2011

Are you worth it...?


I cannot believe that i am saying this

addmitting that it's true.

I really could not live without you

I simply don't know what i do.


Your like a drug i need you

everyday i need more and more

you crush me from the inside

destory everything i stand for


It's actually quite patheitic

what with all the fucking lies

that i still believe and want you

forever in my life.


I hate you being with me

but then I'd hate more if you wernt

I love you arms around me

Even though it always hurts


Why is it always like this

I'm at war with my own heart.

I keep saying i'm better off without you

But my heart won't let us part.


One day maybeI'll wake up

and my heart then will decide

if i can or cannot live without you

and keep intact my pride....

Wednesday, 19 January 2011

It would be better....


Ok so this is a poem i wrote about my friends 'self harm' problem. She said that her blade was her best friend sometimes. So i've tried to write that in aswell :)

I think it's really important people understnad she is not just crying for attettion, i mean only a few of us know...


A river of deep blood red
Running down my arm
Why can they not understand,
By this i mean no harm?
It makes me feel much better
It sorts out my head
Takes away my pain
Plauges my arm instead

I pick up the gleaming silver
Sometimes he's my best friend
I hold him to my forearm
For my hurting he will tend
Slowly he opens up my pain
I see it all run out
All the anger and the crying
No more need to scream and shout.

One day maybe i'll go to far
Maybe i'll cut to deep..
But in the end does it really matter
I'll no longer have to weep
I REALLY do not care
It would be better if i died
Everyone would be so much better off
If i were not alive