Major blog update :)

Hey my beautiful readers so first off, HAPPY INTERNATIONAL PEACE DAY! even though its nearly over in England, still I thought i should just get it in anyway..:) 
Ok, I've not blogged yet again in a while, my life really has been crazy and full of different things going on, I've not had the time to breathe let alone do anything else....!

First things first I'M GETTING A LOAN HORSE!!! I am actually so excited, so one of my best friends Sarah, well her friend is loaning one of her beautiful horses to me and i am just so excited and it's for a cheap price that i don't think you could beat :) I'm so happy :)  This is perfect for me and has come at just the right time, i am so lucky to have the opportunity to do this, normally its something i would never be able to think about because of money and everything, but it IS something i have wanted my entire life...and when i started riding my desperate urge to loan/own/share a horse became unbearable...but this horse, he is amazing, and has the most perfect owner who is going to be there to help me every step, although i think i should be ok (i hope)

Second, I'm actually going back to Germany sooner than what i expected to be and i'm going to be doing two YA workshops with my beautiful family and the most amazing thing, is that i am going to get to see SO many of my friends at the first one it's going to be like one crazy Reunion and oh my gosh i am just so excited for it.

The past few days have been really hard for me, and it's these small things that keep me going and keep me happy and give a reason to carry on another day, I even went out with some friends sunday night which i have been to scared to do in ages, so i was actually proud of myself for that one :) 

Also something in the near future that i have to look forward to is my short trip to America, im freaking out over that i actually can't wait! My friend i am actually flying out to see, well I was looking at her facebook page today and all i could think was OH MY GOSH HOW MUCH HAS SHE CHANGED, and it's crazy because even though she was an adult when i met her, its like looking back at photos she was just a girl and now shes this even more beautiful and strong woman and i just cannot wait..she inspires me beyond any kind of measure so i know so much good will come out of this trip. I will be honest, i am scared after all these years she is gonna hate me, which is dumb, REALLY dumb because that woman let me tell you is not capable of hate...Then I'm worrying about the plane journey because i don't really like flying, i kinda see it as a thing i have to do when one of my dreams is too see the beautiful planet that we live on... 

But i don't know i went online about a week ago to have a look at my flight prices again and they had literally trebled, and i cried so so hard because it meant i would only be able to go Utah and not take my beautiful friend on a trip else wear with me...(i have this thing of feeling guilty alot and always want to make up for it, and i love giving to people so it figures i was gutted, and i was also i admit sad because i REALLY wanted to go to Nebraska, even of no where else...butttttttt i went into a travel agents the next day and told her what happened and she managed to get my flights for even lower than what the cost before! I was literally gobsmacked :)  I'm so excited now :) I know i get to spend a little time in Chicago and Dallas aswell :) 

Anyway just thought i would update my readers, i really have been struggling recently, and i've been trying to balance everything out, just thought i would let you know about the things going on for me that are keeping me strong. I really do believe that no matter how insignificant they are to others if they mean the world to you then its worth it... 

Love to you all.. xxxxxxxx

Germany Day Six...

So today i woke up majorly sad because it was my last and not even full, day in Germany and that made me really sad..i really did not want to go back to England. My beautiful little brother woke me up early as Janine had to go to school this day and i sad that i wanted to go with her, trust me when i say it actually FUN there (spesh when you can just piss about and don't have to work!) i think it's the best way in getting to know what life is REALLY like in Germany...anyway, my mom had to work which meant that i had to say goodbye to her then i wouldn't get a goodbye that evening :( So i went into school and lasted till i think about 1pm before i went home to crash out, i'd literally had no sleep the night before. By the time i woke up it was like 4pm and and it was getting ready to leave for the airport time!

I think that the airport i was fly from (Dortmund) was actually one of the smallest i have ever flown from (with the exception of weeze) but yet i managed to get majorly lost and was walking back and forwards looking for my gate for ages, i ended up having to ask one of the police officers for directions, and he simply laughed at me, the amount of times i travel, and the amount of much larger airports i fly from, and i HAVE to get lost at this one!.

So when i boarded the plane i was the first one on, and this made me really happy because it meant that i got the seat i wanted :) but it didn't stop me crying my eyes out as the plane left, my heart was breaking literally, into tiny pieces, the thought of leaving such a wonderful place hurt my heart.

Getting off the plane i was confronted with all the riots in England (I'm going to write a blog about that ASAP) but like seriously? I wanted to get back on the plane there and then, I'd just landed from the most beautiful country in the world and back here, welcome back to hell.

Germany Day Five

Day five, is the day i think, that captured my heart more than any other day that i had been in Germany this time, we went back to a little area which was another part of Herkules but this time it was like the little forest nearby to it. Walking along a little path all i could hear was the delicate noise of water falling, i don't mean the Niagara falls, i mean literally just a little gentle noise, a peaceful kind, that feels any one's heart with hope...Janine led me up some steps and i turned to see the most beautiful sight i have ever witnessed in my entire life, there was this amazing little water fall, nestled in amoungst the trees, across the little stream was small rocks to use as stepping stones, it was like a complete back to nature experience and it was perfect :) I don't think that there was ever a moment where i put my camera into my bag, because there was never a moment i spent there NOT seeing something beautiful that i wanted to take a photo of, i took over a hundred that day !. I felt free, sitting on a large rock looking down to a beautiful waterfall and stream, NATURE everywhere and i never wanted to leave, i could have sat here for the entire day if i was able to...just wow...simply wow...After sitting taking in the peace and entire freedom of this beautiful place (thanks to me maybe for a little bit longer than everyone else wanted)we decided to go for a walk though the trees, which of course, for me, meant making friends with them! I have a tree in England whom i try to go and visit alot of the time and to give a hug to, i know most people think i'm insane i know that because of the looks i get! but i really do believe that the trees feel that, and they feel love and it makes them happy! After all the they have to be loved, if it was not for them we would not even be able to breathe! I saw this tree and more than any other tree i felt drawn to that one! and sat wanting to hug it for hours, so now, that tree, is my tree in Germany, i now have a reason to need to go back to this beautiful place often and hug this beautiful part of the earth! I was actually fairly said to leave despite being there for so long!

After popping back into Kassel for even more ice cream (yes again it is just so yummy!!!) and after also having an allergic reaction to this tiny bit of chocolate (wonderful), i was asked if there was anything else i wanted to do as it was my last full day in Germany, i said, i wanted to hang out with some horses, soooo we went back home for abit so i could take my medication to help bring my breathing back to normal, i felt so lucky it was only a little bit! oh chocolate if you had ruined my stay in Germany i would have killed you! Then my wonderful friend Nadine knocked on the door i was so freaking happy to get to see her one last time let me tell you! it practically completed me to a point where there was no going back, i wanted to cry, i was trying so hard not to cry, it was perfect.! Ok well after that we hopped in the car and drove to this beautiful little yard not too far from where we lived, the second i opened the door i got greeted by a beautiful little dog called Luna who was all over me saying hello, i thought it was so cute! And as for the horses...well! they were wonderful! there is something about being around horses that puts this smile on my face to a point where i cannot feel sad, and this was certainly how i felt being here, there was this beautiful little four month old foal who was so interested in everything, i went to give him a little stroke on his nose and never left!!! bless his little heart he kept me there for about an hour! everytime i tried to walk away his beautiful little eyes, chocolate color but deep at the same time drew me back, he kept giving me little kisses, including my face and arms, so in the end i was totally covered in all this wonderful baby horse slobber, then i was over with this cute little tiny pony who also decided he wanted to suck on my face so i had all that wonderful slobber too! but you know what i really didnt care i was just so freaking happy....this day well...it was just perfect, i think maybe althoghter with my camera and my dads camera we took about 500 photos...certainly a fair few of them are going to be printed off for my bedroom!

Germany Day Four

After last night i was totally pooped as was my whole family, so we spent the day sleeping in late! After waking up we sat down for breakfast, (again German food is very yummy and i must have eaten SO much haha) we decided to just have a lovely day hanging around together and taking. Our mom went into town and loaned out a few signstar games whilst i stayed behind and had a shower, and so by the time she came back i was in my pajamas laying on the sofa with a good book and green tea! I actually love singstar! Spesh when you are singing German songs, and songs you do not know, literally it get hilarious. Some of the things that we sung well...it helped me concrete my proof that i really am SHITat learning German and reading it even!

After our evening meal we jumped in mom's car for the 15 minute drive to pick up Tessa so she could stay the night with us aswell :) Mom calls us both her 'homestay daughters' so i feel totally at home and at peace there and I love how Tessa just fits right in because she is crazy too! So Tessa was going on about that face she needed to take a shower and Jan was at the same time going on that he wanted for to sing, I, have never sung in front on Tessa before so i was like OOOOHHHHHH MY GOOSHHHH!!!!! trust me when i say i cannot sing, i literally have never heard anyone as bad as me in my entire lifetime!!! So i told her to go take a show while i sing, otherwise she would sing with me, so there i was singing ( a very bad) version of Adele, which kind of frustrates me because i love her music and her and i feel bad for ruining her music! When i finished i turned around and saw that Tessa was sitting on the of sofa like 'woooo!!!!' so i could have killed her...i raced after her to grab her and forgot i had socks on and on the floor nearly went flying, when i finally reached her she had locked herself in the shower...DAMN! I actually loved every moment of this evening, it was just like a night in with my mom, dad, sisters and brother and It was literally perfect...it didnt matter that we were not out, and the we were not spending money, because i was with the people i loved and cared about! I actually love Germany way too much!!!

Germany Day Three

So today was the only day i was dreading in Germany, and the only day we already had plans for so we couldnt do anything else. Months and months back the Young Americans said they were going to be doing a dinner theatre in Germany, and at the time i was a little excited, i mean that i had always wanted to see the show in Michigan but never had the time nor money to get over there, nor would i survive the flight without freaking out, so this, then, seemed a good opportunity, so many of my friends were asking if i wanted to go with them. Then something happened a little before i was going but by then i already had my ticket which was 69 euros, plus my entire host family's tickets...it was alot of money to just throw away because i didnt want to go, i coundlt do that to my host family and quite honestly i didnt even get the guts to bring it up till the night before where i was panicking so much i didnt have a choice but to come clean!

ANYWAY, the dinner theatre was in this beautiful town called Bad Karlshafen, which i have always wanted to visit, so that made me excited a little. i had a friend there who i would be seeing at dinner theatre, so the whole idea of this made me happy, We spent the day looking around the Town and taking pictures, we were at one point going to swimming but thanks to my wonderful hair still turning bright orange and leaving bright orange streaks everywhere when wet, we decided against that! When it came to getting ready for dinner theatre we popped into the toilets of the spa, to get dressed then headed back out into the parking lot like idiots to get our make up done :) My host family went camping alot so they had a huge camping mirror in the back of their car, thank god! because i think that otherwise i would have literally died! Half hour later my make up was on and i was in a bad mood because i was having a really ugly day and looked uglier than ever, so i decided that i would just breathe, and get my hair done...my hair is naturally curly so i brought some moose with me, a little of that and bang my hair is up, only it was actually hairspray, and i didnt have time to wet my hair and dry it...so i got my straightens out and went to head back into the spa and beg them if i could use them to re go over my hair because it was looking awful and i couldn't curl it, then i realised that i didnt have adapter plug and literally burst into tears, i took this as a sign that the rest of the day was going to go just as bad...

When we walked into the dinner theatre however the whole atmosphere totally made me feel better, this wonderful guy called Sam came over and asked me if i wanted a drink, after he handed me the menu i realised how scared i actually still was because i was shaking so hard, i said 'oh just get me champagne' not realising that i would actually not be able to hold that i was shaking so much, even though my fam thought it was funny..!!! A friend of mine/aquatince whatever, then came over to me, and for the first part that was sufficiently awkward because i didnt exatly know what to do.. (i get like such a klutz in some situations) and i previously thought they had not wanted me there so it was hard for me, but i think after a few glasses of chamange i was ok again :) I was still shaking so hard when i went outside to smoke, still a little scared and realised just how many cigarettes i had got though in that day, i felt awful it was a crazy amount and not like me at all, ever!!! I guess its because i was always trying to have a cigarette in my hand so i didn't have to go inside. I'm happy i finally calmed down though, because the show was fucking amazing, and defiantly worth every single penny (or cent in the case) that i payed for it. I could have literally gone back every night and seen it over and over again and I dont think i would have got bored of it at all. I would recommend the show to anyone even if you are not into the performing arts because you would actually love it! I felt blessed by the end of the night, but tired, and i think because of how stressful the whole day had been, i got a huge headache....i slept in the car the entire way home (with a pit stop the throw up (classy) ) then got into bed and slept again, but it was a wonderful day...my host family said we are 100% going to do the same next year so another blog to come in a year or so!!!! :)

Germany Day Two...

I woke up this morning feeling more excited than i have ever been before in my entire lifetime! I have this wonderful friend called Nadine and i have known her since 2006, in 2007 she was meant to be coming over to stay at my house in England with another beautiful friend of mine Ines, and she ended up in France at the time...so you can imagine, this was a pretty exciting moment for me and i was freaking out ohhhh just a little bit :) We spoke on the phone and decided that we would meet at city point in Kassel...so again this made me even more excited because i had wanted to go there for ages! It was so amazingly hot this day so we decided as we got there early to have a little walk up the street before going for a cool drink somewhere nice :) Tessa got a call from behind and her mom was walking up with her little baby sister, i literally was SO happy because i wasn't planning on getting to see her yet, and let me tell you, that she was the cutest baby i have ever met in my entire life. That kid never stopped being happy and the smile never went from her face it made me heart smile even more, looking back on the pictures of me holding her..well the smile never once goes from my face, that baby was adorable..it's babies like her who gave whitney the reason to quote 'i believe the children are our future'.

So anyway, after (sadly) having to give that wonderful little baby back to her mom, we went on to find a place to get a drink, we were actually amazingly lucky as we found a beautiful little place right outside where Nadine and I were meeting, a little open cafe :) it was peaceful to sit there and the fountains, they remind me so much of dancers, free and flowing.... Then i saw Nadine, i could not be happier, finally seeing her, well my heart was leaping all over the place and going crazy :) We had a little look around the shops and bought some beautiful matching braclets :) then when Tessa rejoined us we went and bought something to eat and sat on some steps in the sunshine talking about life, moments and memories that have been important. :)

We then ate some more of the wonderful German ice cream, ( i literally had it every day btw just to warn you in advance im that obsessed) before getting into the car and driving to visit Herkules, when we pulled into the parking lot i actually couldn't see anything, and i thought it was something (in my dumb child way of thinking) to do with the Disney movie and that we were going to watch it on a big screen or something, however when we came to the top of the hill i was met with the most beautiful sight of my life, i remember many of my friends saying that this was one of their favourite places in the world and now i could see why, i didnt know what it was called at the time, but i had saw enough pictures to recognise it, i must have spent maybe two hours just walking down this monument, just to stop everywhere and take pictures, from every angle there was a new and beautiful photo opportunity and i just loved it so much :) I think that because there was not much rain recently the pools only had a little water in them, so i was able to take my shoes off and climb in and take more photos, i felt blessed to be in this place, feeling the water between my toes and looking out to the entire city in the horizon. MAGICAL!

When we reached the bottom there was a little restaurant where we stopped to grab a little something to eat and drink before making our way back up again, and ok so that bit was maybe NOT as fun, i felt like i was dying haha!!!!! but oh my gosh what a wonderful day. I was happy to have also got to spend it with Nadine aswell :) Yayayayay

Germany Day One

On my first morning in Germany i actually woke up super early and there was no one up, ( i think when your waking up at three am that is normally the case!) So i got up a read for a little bit, went on the computer, then tried to sleep again, i got to sleep late so by the time i got up again i was crazy tired! This day was pretty relaxed and we were home alone, just me and my beautiful brother and sister, i said i wanted to just simply see their town and Germany so we took a walk around the town and over to the park...all i can say is that it really is the most beautiful little town i have ever seen in my entire life, it is one of those places you look at and think 'GERMANY' instantly. When we got the park there was this beautiful little pond/lake where some ducks were swimming about happily...(like i would be in that country!) Our wonderful mom had given us a bag full of bread to feed them so we found a little area to sit and throw bread to them, i loved how there were little rocks dotted around this side of the lake, not big enough to obscure the view, but big enough to sit on comfortably...

After we ran out of bread i decided i wanted to go on the playground area and get to act like a big kid again, i literally felt so free, i climbed on this swing closed my eyes, and BAM, no matter what was going on it was not significant anymore to me. and even then when it started to rain a little, we sat in a little house and just laughed and had a good time, something simple, made me feel so happy!

After about five minutes the rain had stopped so we decided to walk home and meet up with a friend of Janine's called Tessa, who was meant to be meeting us in the park but had got on the wrong bus and become lost! haha. So we went home and waited there while her grandparents dropped her off at house! Janine then asked if we should go get some ice cream and let me tell you i have never been so excited in my entire life! Trust me if you have been to Germany and had their ice cream you would know WHY i was so excited! I didn't have any in the fall and winter when i was in Germany, nor did i have any in June so i was so happy to get to have some again, it really is the best ice cream you could possibly ever try!

So after that with a full up belly we went home, and i curled up on the sofa with a cigarette and German beer which i dont normally drink in England but in Germany its just too good!!!!!!

Slightly excited for the week ahead.

KASSEL GERMANY

So yesterday i flew back home after one of the most wonderful weeks of my life, i cannot believe how beautiful Kassel is and that i have never visited that part of Germany before. I am quite lucky because i have a few friends living in this area so i can really bunk down with any of them, as they are always offering me places if i need a place to crash anyway!

This time though i was staying with the beautiful Falkenau family in Hessen, when my flight touched down in Dortmund i was completely exhausted and also a little nervous as i'd only met this family once before and i was scared they would end up changing their mind about having me stay. The instant i walked though arrivals though i knew i had nothing to be scared of, i was greeted with warm and smiling faces and a hug, I got told, 'Welcome back to Germany my beautiful daughter' i couldnt have been or felt anymore happier if i had actually tried...on the drive home (160km oh man) i thought i would fall asleep but i felt so awake and was able to laugh and joke with the family, despite there being a language barrier. The best thing was arriving at their house to find they had decorated it all up for me, i had been given my own room, my own computer, and a little table full of yummy things to eat and drink! I instantly felt a part of their family..! We all sat around to a meal which my wonderful host mom had cooked and they asked me what it was i wanted to do that week as apart from friday we had nothing planned, and i remember that all i could think was, I AM IN GERMANY! I DONT NEED ANYTHING ELSE!!!! Then we had to go to be because it was really late, but i know i was laying there for hours, having to pinch myself that this was real...it felt just too good to be true! I have too much to write in one blog so i will actually do this over a few blogs :) one for each day :)

And the countdown begins!!!

Ok, so it's officially less than a week till i go to Germany and i am totally freaking out over it! I literally am so excited that it's just totally crazy! I was looking at pictures online yesterday on the places i will be visiting and staying in this time round and i was sitting there crying like a total idiot just because it was so beautiful. I know my life is going though hard things at the moment but i do have hope that the natural beauty will lift me up and give me a sense of freedom...six days will mean i am not away to long, but that i also get time with nature and my favourite country. My bags are (pretty much) all packed and ready to go, for the first time in my life, normally i am stilll packing at the airport haha, i must stress my mom out so much! I am staying with this beautiful wonderful family in a town called Hessen, and already i feel at home there and i have not even arrived, they have made me so welcome! I'm worrying so much about my German this time though, so my hand luggage is now huge with three German vocab books to help me learn and help me in general haha! I'm never gonna forget the look on my moms face when i brought this huge dictionary down and showed it in my bag...here i am now wishing that i went to a school that done German lessons! This is always the thing that scares me most about being in a foreign country, spesh if they do not speak English much or at all...
I know that sometime during this week i am also going to get to meet up with my beautiful friend Nadine (and maybe Ines i hope!) and this just makes me so happy...i jumped up and down screaming for an hour when i heard that she lived 15 minutes away from the town i will be in! So i think that this day i will get to spend it with my host family and nadine in Kassel, and it just excites me so much.. Then i think it is on the friday we are going to be going to a beautiful little town just outside Kassel called Bad Karlshafen so i can get to do some sightseeing and have a look around a town which i have wanted to visit since i saw the first ever picture! I am then going to be swimming with my wonderful fam before going out in the evening, now that is the only part i am scared about lol...for reason i don't even want to begin to explain..!
But ahhhh i'm so excited! I keep looking at my clock and hoping that suddenly its time to leave for Germany, when actually all it seems to be doing is making it drag more!
I cannot wait!

18 tage :)

With 18 days until i finally get to go back to Germany, i am beginning to get more and more excited, Germany is my heart and my soul and means everything to me. Yesterday i was looking at pictures and videos from the last time i were in this beautiful country and i literally broke down in tears, I've never missed a place so much in my life...
In 2006 i started doing this performance workshop called the Young Americans, and actually, it's pretty much thanks to the YA that i have friends in Germany, and we learnt a song called 'Happiness'..well when I am in Germany i will stand in the middle of a crowded train station like Cologne and sing that at the top of my voice, including the actions to go with it...

'Happiness is everything and anything at all, thats loved by you'

I just loved it, to see the look on the faces of people, when they clearly do not have a clue what is going on or what i am doing or singing about..but most of all i love the smiles that normally appear seconds after...to see young girls singing happy and free....in Germany they seem to appreciate things like that more than anyone in England ever would.
I love how for the time i was in Germany people just accepted me, my friends used to take me out with them and their friends, and they were just like, HEY, not once did i ever feel like they didnt want me there, in fact, i have made quite a few good friends from this way aswell.. The family i will be staying with in a few weeks i met randomly on a visit to see a YA workshop in the fall, i am so so so excited to get to spend time with them and get to know them all better...also the fact i have never really been to this part of Germany before, the whole idea gets me crazy and hyper, i cannot wait.
I want to get back to Munich at some point for abit, because its freaking amazing there, it's just a matter of fitting it all in...I'm not well enough really to be out of the country right now for me than a week...i would most likely have a breakdown, therefore touring around would only stress me out. But i have hope to get better, and next year, i will be able to spend my entire summer out there with everyone that i love and care about...lets hope...
i believe...in this case i really do believe, because i've never known something i want as bad as this. :)

Jazzfest deutschland 2011

So this previous weekend that has just gone, has been perhaps the most beautiful and the best of my life. When my twinnie said i would love jazz fest, i never really imagined i would love it as much as i really did. From the very second i got off the plane and stepped onto German soil i was complete, even more so when i saw my German family. I didn't really think my heart could be more full and so filled to bursting with love and happiness. Then i went to Jazzfest, oh my gosh, i've never been to a place where i felt i fitted in so well. Every single person there was an individual and everything there to buy was different, i didn't have enough pairs of eyes to look at everything...i kept getting told i looked like a pretty little fairy and ok, the pretty bit was maybe abit fucked...i think everyone had one too many to drink..! But the whole fairy thing made me smile so much :) i actually loved that. One of the best moments i think was sitting on the grass in the sunshine, drinking cocktails, smoking a cigarette with the people you love the most by your side. The wonderful moments, walking from stall to stall, barefoot, the freedom, the pure magic of being in the most beautiful place in the world. The music, oh my gosh the music, people playing on African style drums and just sitting crosslegged on the floor with a guitar singing...its everything i am,and everything i want to be for my entire life. I cant believe that its all over now for another year. Despite the fact i spent 200 euros in two days (opps) i had the best time of my life, and i could have quite easily stayed there forever, even with no facebook, Internet or phones....and i got some amazing, beautiful and very unique things for my friends. :)

peace x

home time

Tomorrow i am off to Germany again and i actually don't think i could be happier. Germany really does make me happy, i love everything about that beautiful country and i do not care what people think or say about that.

I cannot wait to be back in a country where the sun shines even when its winter and rain is pouring down, because of the people, and the culture, it warms my heart and makes me feel so amazing. I cannot believe i am only going for three days this time and ok so that totally sucks but i guess i should be happy that i am going at all.

I'm so freaking out over tomorrow, i hate planes, i mean i love flying, but i really dont like this danger factor that comes with it, i always have a little freak out, spesh on landing and take off...but i'd do it everyday if i had to just to see Germany. i am so excited. no doubt a huge blog will follow on my arrival back in England.

Across the Oceans

I miss Germany, i mean really miss it, i need to get back there asap...from the moment my plane took off back on January the second, my how spirit and soul has ached to get back to where my heart is. I spent all summer, some of fall, and new year in Germany last year, and they were the best months of my life. I have some of the greatest friends out there and the flights are short and cheap, which is awesome because i don't have lots of money and i really hate flying.

I keep dreaming about the beautiful houses and plants and everything that is in Germany, it's just so clean it shocks me, i didn't know a country could be that clean. I really can see myself moving out there for good one day, ok so not right now, because i don't have the money and my German is crap!

I feel so happy there and at peace with myself, sure there are things i don't like, but then nothing is perfect, but the amount of good things far outweigh the bad, and are also far more significant in general.

I know i'm going back for a weekend in june to go to a festival, i wish i was going longer, because that would just be amazing, but right now i need to be home, where my dancing is...i hope i'll get to go more in the later months, or more, i have too, my soul depends on it.

One of my best friends lives there and everytime i go though something hard, i pray for them to be by my side...i miss the laughter all the time, and just how carefree life was..a lot like life when you are younger you live for the day. When i'm out there i do that, just because i simply do not care what is around the corner, because what will be will be and my present is fantastic.

Germany has my heart entirely, it's my home away from home.

Oh i miss.....

Home is where the heart is

I think it's stupid, that your home has to be where you are born.

I mean, is home not a place where you are meant to feel most at home and most happy?

A place where you can feel safe and content. The place you heart is.

So does that mean that literally anywhere can be our home, as long as we are happy there.

And anyway, are we not all living under the same sky.? Does that not make us the same?

'Home is where the heart is'

I'm sick of people telling me 'Your already home' when i say i miss my home (Germany). Because i generally love that place more than anywhere else in the entire world, and i know when i have everything sorted and under control, i want to move out there, it's amazing and just so beautiful.

The people, the ground, the grass, i love everything, theres this thing in Germany, that i love called respect, something that England seems to lack quite greatly in more than one area. The place is just so clean.

It gives me hope there, and moves me to tears, how a total stranger will get off the bus to help someone else on, in England people just sit and watch and don't think to help.

I don't need for the sunshine to be beating down to be happy in that place, rain or shine, even in snow, nothing can take away my deep love and affection for that wonderful country.

I miss it.

I miss Germany

I miss my home