The real cost of horses

Ok guys, well this blog i was meaning to do yesterday, but um...i was busy all day, and with that trying to stop myself passing out, i felt so ill and lighthead and urgh....I got home from the stables about about 6 and literally passed out completely...i've just woke up all covered in a blanket on the sofa haha...  First of all all...I'VE LOST 8 POUNDS THIS PAST WEEK! so i know thats not really a big deal but for me that is super amazing, i got up, weighed myself and cried with happiness. I'm still feeling a little crappy but hey i dont care the scales have made me happy :) I think today im generally gonna have as my special slob day...im so tired right now its unreal. I mean, ill have to go down the stables today, horses do not take care of themselves and Emma has a uni interview YAYAYAY but then i think im actually gonna come home and be a total slob face.
Well i actually have two blogs to write that i was going to do yesterday. im gonna do the horsey based one first because this is generally just an update one and not one i am going to get tearful over like i will the other that will be coming from the heart.
So yesterday I decided that i was going to do a little trip up to ingatestone again, so i a could get the horses a few bits. Emma had work so she couldnt come, but gave me a list of things she needed...i have nothing better to do so im just gonna write about the expense of horses. Emma is one of the the most dedicated horse owners i know, she really is, and as i am loaning Eddie off her i get to see exactly how much it can cost.  I know that i have gone to ingatestone before with her and she has spent hundreds, just on sorting her horses (she has two) our with boots and the rugs they need for winter....I mean, Eddie is still growing Emma does one HELL of alot, so i practically forced her to let me pay for a heavyweight turnout and waffle rug, that was in what october time? maybe even november...and he's already outgrowing them. I'm happy i got a loan before jumping straight in with buying and having to do it all myself, i never knew how many rugs they needed and how many overreach boots they would get though, its actually stupid, most of all caz. Emma was like 'could you get me a pair of overreachers for Caz please?..i could swear we bought her two pairs only a couple of weeks ago lol..i think just before the new year...and Eddie can be as bad sometimes!  As for the amount of food that they get though its just insane, Cariad is such a fusspot and will only use the garlic stable lick, so yesterday i asked Emma if i bought her one of them could Eddie have Caz's other paddock lick that she won't really touch...which of course was ok. Bless Caz, the second i put it in her stable she was so happy she whinnied,  i don't think anyone can understand the endless amounts of love i have for that pony too! 
Oh but horses cost insane amounts of money, its out of this world...so please think before you get one..i am so lucky to have Emma there every step of the way. Loaning a horse...is like owning a horse BUT the difference is, you are not going at it alone, you dont have to worry about bills, you dont have to spend all your time at the yard, you can learn, without worrying about your own horse. I mean, Emma has always told me i'm alloud down the yard whenever i like to spend time with Eddie and for that i am eternally grateful..not many loan agreements work out like that... 
I'm not the best one to give info but if you get in touch with somewhere like Redwings they will be more than happy to help, it makes me sad seeing horses in homes where even if they are loved more than anything, they are not cared for how the should be because of money..im lucky becuase Emma's horses are immaculate, but there are thousands out there that are not.
PS: In this blog i would also like to say i got the Pippa Funnel autobiography finally :) im so happy, she is my horse idol and i have been DYING for that book since forever.  :) x

Major blog update :)

Hey my beautiful readers so first off, HAPPY INTERNATIONAL PEACE DAY! even though its nearly over in England, still I thought i should just get it in anyway..:) 
Ok, I've not blogged yet again in a while, my life really has been crazy and full of different things going on, I've not had the time to breathe let alone do anything else....!

First things first I'M GETTING A LOAN HORSE!!! I am actually so excited, so one of my best friends Sarah, well her friend is loaning one of her beautiful horses to me and i am just so excited and it's for a cheap price that i don't think you could beat :) I'm so happy :)  This is perfect for me and has come at just the right time, i am so lucky to have the opportunity to do this, normally its something i would never be able to think about because of money and everything, but it IS something i have wanted my entire life...and when i started riding my desperate urge to loan/own/share a horse became unbearable...but this horse, he is amazing, and has the most perfect owner who is going to be there to help me every step, although i think i should be ok (i hope)

Second, I'm actually going back to Germany sooner than what i expected to be and i'm going to be doing two YA workshops with my beautiful family and the most amazing thing, is that i am going to get to see SO many of my friends at the first one it's going to be like one crazy Reunion and oh my gosh i am just so excited for it.

The past few days have been really hard for me, and it's these small things that keep me going and keep me happy and give a reason to carry on another day, I even went out with some friends sunday night which i have been to scared to do in ages, so i was actually proud of myself for that one :) 

Also something in the near future that i have to look forward to is my short trip to America, im freaking out over that i actually can't wait! My friend i am actually flying out to see, well I was looking at her facebook page today and all i could think was OH MY GOSH HOW MUCH HAS SHE CHANGED, and it's crazy because even though she was an adult when i met her, its like looking back at photos she was just a girl and now shes this even more beautiful and strong woman and i just cannot wait..she inspires me beyond any kind of measure so i know so much good will come out of this trip. I will be honest, i am scared after all these years she is gonna hate me, which is dumb, REALLY dumb because that woman let me tell you is not capable of hate...Then I'm worrying about the plane journey because i don't really like flying, i kinda see it as a thing i have to do when one of my dreams is too see the beautiful planet that we live on... 

But i don't know i went online about a week ago to have a look at my flight prices again and they had literally trebled, and i cried so so hard because it meant i would only be able to go Utah and not take my beautiful friend on a trip else wear with me...(i have this thing of feeling guilty alot and always want to make up for it, and i love giving to people so it figures i was gutted, and i was also i admit sad because i REALLY wanted to go to Nebraska, even of no where else...butttttttt i went into a travel agents the next day and told her what happened and she managed to get my flights for even lower than what the cost before! I was literally gobsmacked :)  I'm so excited now :) I know i get to spend a little time in Chicago and Dallas aswell :) 

Anyway just thought i would update my readers, i really have been struggling recently, and i've been trying to balance everything out, just thought i would let you know about the things going on for me that are keeping me strong. I really do believe that no matter how insignificant they are to others if they mean the world to you then its worth it... 

Love to you all.. xxxxxxxx

Germany Day Five

Day five, is the day i think, that captured my heart more than any other day that i had been in Germany this time, we went back to a little area which was another part of Herkules but this time it was like the little forest nearby to it. Walking along a little path all i could hear was the delicate noise of water falling, i don't mean the Niagara falls, i mean literally just a little gentle noise, a peaceful kind, that feels any one's heart with hope...Janine led me up some steps and i turned to see the most beautiful sight i have ever witnessed in my entire life, there was this amazing little water fall, nestled in amoungst the trees, across the little stream was small rocks to use as stepping stones, it was like a complete back to nature experience and it was perfect :) I don't think that there was ever a moment where i put my camera into my bag, because there was never a moment i spent there NOT seeing something beautiful that i wanted to take a photo of, i took over a hundred that day !. I felt free, sitting on a large rock looking down to a beautiful waterfall and stream, NATURE everywhere and i never wanted to leave, i could have sat here for the entire day if i was able to...just wow...simply wow...After sitting taking in the peace and entire freedom of this beautiful place (thanks to me maybe for a little bit longer than everyone else wanted)we decided to go for a walk though the trees, which of course, for me, meant making friends with them! I have a tree in England whom i try to go and visit alot of the time and to give a hug to, i know most people think i'm insane i know that because of the looks i get! but i really do believe that the trees feel that, and they feel love and it makes them happy! After all the they have to be loved, if it was not for them we would not even be able to breathe! I saw this tree and more than any other tree i felt drawn to that one! and sat wanting to hug it for hours, so now, that tree, is my tree in Germany, i now have a reason to need to go back to this beautiful place often and hug this beautiful part of the earth! I was actually fairly said to leave despite being there for so long!

After popping back into Kassel for even more ice cream (yes again it is just so yummy!!!) and after also having an allergic reaction to this tiny bit of chocolate (wonderful), i was asked if there was anything else i wanted to do as it was my last full day in Germany, i said, i wanted to hang out with some horses, soooo we went back home for abit so i could take my medication to help bring my breathing back to normal, i felt so lucky it was only a little bit! oh chocolate if you had ruined my stay in Germany i would have killed you! Then my wonderful friend Nadine knocked on the door i was so freaking happy to get to see her one last time let me tell you! it practically completed me to a point where there was no going back, i wanted to cry, i was trying so hard not to cry, it was perfect.! Ok well after that we hopped in the car and drove to this beautiful little yard not too far from where we lived, the second i opened the door i got greeted by a beautiful little dog called Luna who was all over me saying hello, i thought it was so cute! And as for the horses...well! they were wonderful! there is something about being around horses that puts this smile on my face to a point where i cannot feel sad, and this was certainly how i felt being here, there was this beautiful little four month old foal who was so interested in everything, i went to give him a little stroke on his nose and never left!!! bless his little heart he kept me there for about an hour! everytime i tried to walk away his beautiful little eyes, chocolate color but deep at the same time drew me back, he kept giving me little kisses, including my face and arms, so in the end i was totally covered in all this wonderful baby horse slobber, then i was over with this cute little tiny pony who also decided he wanted to suck on my face so i had all that wonderful slobber too! but you know what i really didnt care i was just so freaking happy....this day well...it was just perfect, i think maybe althoghter with my camera and my dads camera we took about 500 photos...certainly a fair few of them are going to be printed off for my bedroom!

In loving memory of Boo

This Friday, i came home from college early, and was in a fairly good mood,i had just finished my last dance exam and felt that finally everything was wrapping up and that i could relax more, ok, so i think i done totally crap, but it was over, i didn't need to worry about it again. I danced my heart to Allie Moss' song called 'Prisoner of Hope'. The significance of that song is just so unbelievable, so unreal words just cannot describe it. I thought it would be good to dance to.
But the main reason for this blog, i was sitting on my sofa when the mail came though, my mom opened a letter and told me that Boo has passed away. Boo was one of my horses that i had at Redwings Horse Sanctuary. I'd adopted him a few years previous, and even though i didn't really get to see him much as he was so far away, i loved him, so so dearly i loved him. I remember back to when one of my most favourite horses on the yard i ride at died and i was in such a state, so i went to Ada Cole and the wonderful staff there brought him over to the fence, bearing in mind he is normally a very nervous horse, he let me cuddle him and cry into his mane without a care in the world. At Redwings, the celebrate the horses birthdays with a little party...this means that you get to go down and see them walked around a arena or paddock, and then they are fed a special 'horsie' birthday cake while the crowd sing them happy birthday. I remember the one time i was lucky enough to get to go and see Boo on his birthday, i've never seen him look so happy..spesh when a young girl bought him a new headcollar and he had it put on :)
It was so hard to hear that he was no longer here with us, i tried and tried not to cry but it didnt work, and i broke down into a state, i couldn't stop crying. Redwings is this amazing charity, it really is, and almost all the horses there have suffered greatly in life, Redwings rescues them and helps them to live the rest of their days in peace. I'm heartbroken that Boo is gone, but i'm also so grateful that he got that amazing care that he did at the sanctuary. He deserved it, they all deserve it.
So Boo, you may now be gone, but i know you are free and dancing and prancing around with the angels now, your an arab so i would imagine you look pretty fine doing just that, I hope you find Sidney up there, he was another one of my Redwings horses whom i loved so dearly. I hope you become friends and live forever happy....Hopefully Sidney has stopped eating so much grass so that god does not have to keep him in the woodchip paddock all the time ;)
I love you....thank you for being such an amazing spirit.
Rest in Peace, like i am sure you will, I'll never ever forget you.

A horses prayer......

I just wanted to write a blog about something I've been seeing alot of on you tube recently. There are many videos of people riding horses harshly, of riders being flung out of the saddle, and what gets me so angry is the fact that people are writing comments such as, these horses should be shot! There were also many videos in which horses have been branded as 'evil'. I wanted to get one thing clear, with everyone who is reading this, all of the horses in the videos i have watched are not by any means evil, yes ok, some of them certainly may be troublesome, but not evil. It's gets me angry that people always seem to blame the horse, and say that it is never the rider, well 90% of the time it is the riders fault, and for the other ten, it is neither the fault of the horse nor rider. First of all we need to remember that horses were not built for us to ride, we are the ones that brought them into that lifestyle, and they adapted and grew with us, and team together, horse and rider...Secondly, they are naturally flight animals, which means the run away and if they cant run, panic and try to get away from things that frighten them, and at the end of the day, you can try and change that, but it's in their blood. I saw a video where a group of three people were trying to ride a unbroken pony, the pony went mad and bucked them off. They decided that because of this that pony is not worthy of a live and that it would be better of dead, well HOW THE FUCK would you like it if you had three people climbing on your back, take in mind the fact that the pony had never experienced this before, and three people on a 14-15 hand pony is just stupid, no way can a pony be expected to carry that weight comfortably, not only was he afraid but most likely in a great amount of pain aswell!!! There was a pony i met at redwings who had a dislocated back after foolish teenagers had tried to ride him when he was a baby, well now he is disabled and can never be ridden...does that not give more proof? There was also a video of this man trying to get this old and clearly stiff horse over as huge jump and when he knocked it down with his front hoofs he got such a beating i actually began to cry, you could see the confusion in the face of this horse, he had tried his very hardest to please his owner and now he was getting beaten for something he could not help.It's called respect, and thats all the horses and ponies ask for, you give them that and they will give you endless amounts of love in return. And the videos of riders falling off, with people writing horrible comments about the horses and their riders, well in this case, it is usually not the riders fault (unless they were riding incorrectly or they failed to see the horse was not fit to work) most of the time the horses have tripped or stumbled, that can clearly be seen in many of the videos and photographs, humans fall over all the time, so why should we be alloud to have accidents but not these beautiful graceful creatures that we are blessed to share our lives with. Ok i understand that some people do not like horses but thats no reason to hate them or treat them bad, and by no means does it mean they do not deserve a life. I hate spiders literally hate them and my god if i see one i will scream the entire country down...BUT i always tell my mum to get rid of it but not by any means kill it, i might not like them, but who i am to say if that spider has a right to live or not? i don't and the same goes for everything else. I know im going to get people saying that i can't see taking an animals life away to be a good thing, but of course i can. At the stables i ride at the horses are well cared for and well looked after, however, if a horse is in pain and suffering, it is ALWAYS decided that they will be HUMANLY put to sleep. Sometimes, for an animal to be free and at peace, you have to let them go, but no one has a right to take away the life of a perfectly healthy living creature. Horses are wonderful and a gift from above, when i die and go to heaven i will have a hard time staying there if there are not horses, i would rather go to hell if it meant i could be with horses i really would. They should be treated with love and respect, if a horse is scared or afraid, they should be taught what is right and that everything is ok, and if an owner cannot do that themselves they should enlist in help. They should be broken in gently and with care, it should be a new and exciting experience, not one that leaves them mentally and sometimes even physically scarred...I would know, the yard i ride at are wonderful for this, and you get to see horses from the moment they are born, to becoming amazing riding horses, and horses that are nervous wrecks become amazing calm horses. This is what horse riding should be about, so before you look at a video and instantly think the horse is a fault, think again, there's a huge chance that its not.

between a horses ears.....

'The wind of heaven is that which blows beneath a horses ears.'

This quote, more than ever sums up my life right now and most of all today, I went to the yard this morning feeling hopeless, all i wanted to do was want to cry. I'd had a really bad week and was pretty sure that this week coming will be bad too.

But i don't know, when I'm around the horses, i just feel a totally different person, i feel totally complete...

Even with the shit they do, and the mess they make, i mean champ today was awful, there was mess everywhere! I've never seen such a mess! Even in my bedroom!

I was not riding today, because of how i hurt my side, but i think that proved to me, that i don't always need to be on a horses back to be happy :)

My two favourites are Jay and Spirit and today Jess and i got Spirit and new numnah :) and last week a new pink haynet...i love her so much she looks beautiful.

Horses really are my passion, really are my dream, ( at the same time as dancing) I do not intend on ever going to a heaven without horses, because that would be my ideal of hell..the real hell would be better!

I love how they can hurt you ,and make you stink even worse than crap, but you still love them, i love how you have to look after them, but also at the same time how they return the favor, all the ever ask for is love and give it so much in return...

They really are amazing..

Thank you...for making my dreams come true. You make me believe in the presence of horsey angels :) XX