Germany Day Four

After last night i was totally pooped as was my whole family, so we spent the day sleeping in late! After waking up we sat down for breakfast, (again German food is very yummy and i must have eaten SO much haha) we decided to just have a lovely day hanging around together and taking. Our mom went into town and loaned out a few signstar games whilst i stayed behind and had a shower, and so by the time she came back i was in my pajamas laying on the sofa with a good book and green tea! I actually love singstar! Spesh when you are singing German songs, and songs you do not know, literally it get hilarious. Some of the things that we sung well...it helped me concrete my proof that i really am SHITat learning German and reading it even!

After our evening meal we jumped in mom's car for the 15 minute drive to pick up Tessa so she could stay the night with us aswell :) Mom calls us both her 'homestay daughters' so i feel totally at home and at peace there and I love how Tessa just fits right in because she is crazy too! So Tessa was going on about that face she needed to take a shower and Jan was at the same time going on that he wanted for to sing, I, have never sung in front on Tessa before so i was like OOOOHHHHHH MY GOOSHHHH!!!!! trust me when i say i cannot sing, i literally have never heard anyone as bad as me in my entire lifetime!!! So i told her to go take a show while i sing, otherwise she would sing with me, so there i was singing ( a very bad) version of Adele, which kind of frustrates me because i love her music and her and i feel bad for ruining her music! When i finished i turned around and saw that Tessa was sitting on the of sofa like 'woooo!!!!' so i could have killed her...i raced after her to grab her and forgot i had socks on and on the floor nearly went flying, when i finally reached her she had locked herself in the shower...DAMN! I actually loved every moment of this evening, it was just like a night in with my mom, dad, sisters and brother and It was literally perfect...it didnt matter that we were not out, and the we were not spending money, because i was with the people i loved and cared about! I actually love Germany way too much!!!

Germany Day Two...

I woke up this morning feeling more excited than i have ever been before in my entire lifetime! I have this wonderful friend called Nadine and i have known her since 2006, in 2007 she was meant to be coming over to stay at my house in England with another beautiful friend of mine Ines, and she ended up in France at the time...so you can imagine, this was a pretty exciting moment for me and i was freaking out ohhhh just a little bit :) We spoke on the phone and decided that we would meet at city point in Kassel...so again this made me even more excited because i had wanted to go there for ages! It was so amazingly hot this day so we decided as we got there early to have a little walk up the street before going for a cool drink somewhere nice :) Tessa got a call from behind and her mom was walking up with her little baby sister, i literally was SO happy because i wasn't planning on getting to see her yet, and let me tell you, that she was the cutest baby i have ever met in my entire life. That kid never stopped being happy and the smile never went from her face it made me heart smile even more, looking back on the pictures of me holding her..well the smile never once goes from my face, that baby was adorable..it's babies like her who gave whitney the reason to quote 'i believe the children are our future'.

So anyway, after (sadly) having to give that wonderful little baby back to her mom, we went on to find a place to get a drink, we were actually amazingly lucky as we found a beautiful little place right outside where Nadine and I were meeting, a little open cafe :) it was peaceful to sit there and the fountains, they remind me so much of dancers, free and flowing.... Then i saw Nadine, i could not be happier, finally seeing her, well my heart was leaping all over the place and going crazy :) We had a little look around the shops and bought some beautiful matching braclets :) then when Tessa rejoined us we went and bought something to eat and sat on some steps in the sunshine talking about life, moments and memories that have been important. :)

We then ate some more of the wonderful German ice cream, ( i literally had it every day btw just to warn you in advance im that obsessed) before getting into the car and driving to visit Herkules, when we pulled into the parking lot i actually couldn't see anything, and i thought it was something (in my dumb child way of thinking) to do with the Disney movie and that we were going to watch it on a big screen or something, however when we came to the top of the hill i was met with the most beautiful sight of my life, i remember many of my friends saying that this was one of their favourite places in the world and now i could see why, i didnt know what it was called at the time, but i had saw enough pictures to recognise it, i must have spent maybe two hours just walking down this monument, just to stop everywhere and take pictures, from every angle there was a new and beautiful photo opportunity and i just loved it so much :) I think that because there was not much rain recently the pools only had a little water in them, so i was able to take my shoes off and climb in and take more photos, i felt blessed to be in this place, feeling the water between my toes and looking out to the entire city in the horizon. MAGICAL!

When we reached the bottom there was a little restaurant where we stopped to grab a little something to eat and drink before making our way back up again, and ok so that bit was maybe NOT as fun, i felt like i was dying haha!!!!! but oh my gosh what a wonderful day. I was happy to have also got to spend it with Nadine aswell :) Yayayayay

Germany Day One

On my first morning in Germany i actually woke up super early and there was no one up, ( i think when your waking up at three am that is normally the case!) So i got up a read for a little bit, went on the computer, then tried to sleep again, i got to sleep late so by the time i got up again i was crazy tired! This day was pretty relaxed and we were home alone, just me and my beautiful brother and sister, i said i wanted to just simply see their town and Germany so we took a walk around the town and over to the park...all i can say is that it really is the most beautiful little town i have ever seen in my entire life, it is one of those places you look at and think 'GERMANY' instantly. When we got the park there was this beautiful little pond/lake where some ducks were swimming about happily...(like i would be in that country!) Our wonderful mom had given us a bag full of bread to feed them so we found a little area to sit and throw bread to them, i loved how there were little rocks dotted around this side of the lake, not big enough to obscure the view, but big enough to sit on comfortably...

After we ran out of bread i decided i wanted to go on the playground area and get to act like a big kid again, i literally felt so free, i climbed on this swing closed my eyes, and BAM, no matter what was going on it was not significant anymore to me. and even then when it started to rain a little, we sat in a little house and just laughed and had a good time, something simple, made me feel so happy!

After about five minutes the rain had stopped so we decided to walk home and meet up with a friend of Janine's called Tessa, who was meant to be meeting us in the park but had got on the wrong bus and become lost! haha. So we went home and waited there while her grandparents dropped her off at house! Janine then asked if we should go get some ice cream and let me tell you i have never been so excited in my entire life! Trust me if you have been to Germany and had their ice cream you would know WHY i was so excited! I didn't have any in the fall and winter when i was in Germany, nor did i have any in June so i was so happy to get to have some again, it really is the best ice cream you could possibly ever try!

So after that with a full up belly we went home, and i curled up on the sofa with a cigarette and German beer which i dont normally drink in England but in Germany its just too good!!!!!!

Slightly excited for the week ahead.

18 tage :)

With 18 days until i finally get to go back to Germany, i am beginning to get more and more excited, Germany is my heart and my soul and means everything to me. Yesterday i was looking at pictures and videos from the last time i were in this beautiful country and i literally broke down in tears, I've never missed a place so much in my life...
In 2006 i started doing this performance workshop called the Young Americans, and actually, it's pretty much thanks to the YA that i have friends in Germany, and we learnt a song called 'Happiness'..well when I am in Germany i will stand in the middle of a crowded train station like Cologne and sing that at the top of my voice, including the actions to go with it...

'Happiness is everything and anything at all, thats loved by you'

I just loved it, to see the look on the faces of people, when they clearly do not have a clue what is going on or what i am doing or singing about..but most of all i love the smiles that normally appear seconds after...to see young girls singing happy and free....in Germany they seem to appreciate things like that more than anyone in England ever would.
I love how for the time i was in Germany people just accepted me, my friends used to take me out with them and their friends, and they were just like, HEY, not once did i ever feel like they didnt want me there, in fact, i have made quite a few good friends from this way aswell.. The family i will be staying with in a few weeks i met randomly on a visit to see a YA workshop in the fall, i am so so so excited to get to spend time with them and get to know them all better...also the fact i have never really been to this part of Germany before, the whole idea gets me crazy and hyper, i cannot wait.
I want to get back to Munich at some point for abit, because its freaking amazing there, it's just a matter of fitting it all in...I'm not well enough really to be out of the country right now for me than a week...i would most likely have a breakdown, therefore touring around would only stress me out. But i have hope to get better, and next year, i will be able to spend my entire summer out there with everyone that i love and care about...lets hope...
i believe...in this case i really do believe, because i've never known something i want as bad as this. :)

Jazzfest deutschland 2011

So this previous weekend that has just gone, has been perhaps the most beautiful and the best of my life. When my twinnie said i would love jazz fest, i never really imagined i would love it as much as i really did. From the very second i got off the plane and stepped onto German soil i was complete, even more so when i saw my German family. I didn't really think my heart could be more full and so filled to bursting with love and happiness. Then i went to Jazzfest, oh my gosh, i've never been to a place where i felt i fitted in so well. Every single person there was an individual and everything there to buy was different, i didn't have enough pairs of eyes to look at everything...i kept getting told i looked like a pretty little fairy and ok, the pretty bit was maybe abit fucked...i think everyone had one too many to drink..! But the whole fairy thing made me smile so much :) i actually loved that. One of the best moments i think was sitting on the grass in the sunshine, drinking cocktails, smoking a cigarette with the people you love the most by your side. The wonderful moments, walking from stall to stall, barefoot, the freedom, the pure magic of being in the most beautiful place in the world. The music, oh my gosh the music, people playing on African style drums and just sitting crosslegged on the floor with a guitar singing...its everything i am,and everything i want to be for my entire life. I cant believe that its all over now for another year. Despite the fact i spent 200 euros in two days (opps) i had the best time of my life, and i could have quite easily stayed there forever, even with no facebook, Internet or phones....and i got some amazing, beautiful and very unique things for my friends. :)

peace x

Eurovision

I'm sitting her right now watching the eurovision and i could swear something is wrong with me, I've cried non stop since the second it started, the fact that it's based in my most favourite country Germany could be a big factor, the fact i miss that country and place with my entire heart. But the songs this year, already so many of them have been about world peace and love and hope and just everything that is so amazing, it really makes me wonder if maybe world peace will be one day achieved, after all, if so many countries are singing about it, surely they must want it badly. Music speaks the words of the soul.
I don't know why i'm so emotional, but i do know that it is shows like this that make me so proud to be British and from Europe, this event, is and always has been spectacular (although no-one does it better than deutschland!) I wish that the whole world could come together for a show like this, and then i wish that like this event, the world could all cheer for something together, the same thing...for people all over the world to be sitting in the same room, and not thinking about fights and wars that might happen between them.
Music is amazing it really is and this event, thats been going on for years, i hope will one day bring the world peace i so want, and the peace that so many others want aswell.
Anyway i'm off to actually pay more attention and watch the show
to be continued later :).....

between a horses ears.....

'The wind of heaven is that which blows beneath a horses ears.'

This quote, more than ever sums up my life right now and most of all today, I went to the yard this morning feeling hopeless, all i wanted to do was want to cry. I'd had a really bad week and was pretty sure that this week coming will be bad too.

But i don't know, when I'm around the horses, i just feel a totally different person, i feel totally complete...

Even with the shit they do, and the mess they make, i mean champ today was awful, there was mess everywhere! I've never seen such a mess! Even in my bedroom!

I was not riding today, because of how i hurt my side, but i think that proved to me, that i don't always need to be on a horses back to be happy :)

My two favourites are Jay and Spirit and today Jess and i got Spirit and new numnah :) and last week a new pink haynet...i love her so much she looks beautiful.

Horses really are my passion, really are my dream, ( at the same time as dancing) I do not intend on ever going to a heaven without horses, because that would be my ideal of hell..the real hell would be better!

I love how they can hurt you ,and make you stink even worse than crap, but you still love them, i love how you have to look after them, but also at the same time how they return the favor, all the ever ask for is love and give it so much in return...

They really are amazing..

Thank you...for making my dreams come true. You make me believe in the presence of horsey angels :) XX