oh what a horrible year, and it's only febuary!

Once again, i have been walking around the whole day with my head in the clouds, and i was thinking, as a blog is mean to tell the world what is going on in your life, i should maybe do it more, instead of manly using this as a base to write down all my thoughts and feelings. To say that today has been messed up from the start does not even come close.

I opened the paper this morning to be greeted with a article about my god mother and god fathers death, i already knew, but i thought the funeral was going to be on the 28th, but what Joy, it is actually the 21st, my 19th birthday..,simply awesome.

I have to leave college where i'm rehearsing all day and then go back at the end of the service, i actually don't know how i am supposed to cope with that whole thing, i mean, I'm not even going to be able to have five seconds to myself after to get myself together, i need to be strong, but right now i don't know where i will get that strength from.

My best friend is with the biggest dickhead of a boyfriend you could possibly meet, he treats her like shit, and what makes it worse, is that she lets him walk all over her the entire time, it hurts me so much seeing it, because there is nothing i can really do, but i feel like there should be something i can do, after all, she is my best friend.

I just feel so alone right now, thats the good thing about writing in this blog, no one knows who i really am, so i can write to my hearts content,..i feel i have no one to talk too, and i am convinced that everyone hates me and actually wants me dead, and yes i know hate is a strong word, and i would never use it unless i felt strongly about something, and i feel strongly about the fact they all hate me. i could die and they would all be happy..

And you know what,? If that did happen, my only wish would be that when the police or whatever go though my computer, they find this blog and share it with the world.

I guess that i have so many thoughts, and maybe, just maybe they would help others...

I mean, normally its not this bad, im just haviing a really bad year of it....2011 is officially one of the worst years ever and its only February...

I need to kepe praying,,,begging..that things will get better...

jo dee messina

I've been though hell on my knees

came fface to face with the devil

and i know that its hard to believe

but it gets better

rascal flatts

Cuz when push comes to shove

you taste what your made of

you might bend till you break

cuz its all you can take

on your knees you look up the sign youve had enough

you get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands shake it off

then you stand

MUST MUST MUST try to remember this....

COME ON SELF!!!

THINK

LOVE LOVE LOVE

LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED!!!!!!!

SPREAD THE LOVE INCREASE THE PEACE

WORLD LOVE AND PEACE