So i have severe depression, and other things that basically centre around that one thing, it's complicated so i'm not even gonna bother going there, it confuses me and ive been dealing with this since i was 12 (im nearly 20). One main aspect of my illness is that i self harm, and by self harm i mean that there has been recently quite a few hospital trips, because i had done so much damage, i simply couldnt leave it, it was impossible to leave it how it was. So for anyone reading this who self harms and is looking for a way out of it (as in getting better!!!) then please, i am begging you keep reading and try this method, because i was at a stage where i hurt myself without realising i was doing it i was that addicted, it was kinda like i went into a trance state. I tried all the methods the doctors give...ice cubes, rubber bands..phoning friends, i actually have scars from the rubber band one where i used to ping them so hard that i caused damage...so please trust me, i know exactly what you are going though. For people who have never experienced self harm, i hope this blog helps you to realise that not all SH cases are in fact attettion seeking cases, because if it were, i would have been bogging about it 24/7 and i haven't have i? and i can assure you, people who know me and who read this...so many of them will be shocked because i hide it. ive done it so long, i know how...please by this try to help people who self harm not put them down, and you know what? they way i look at it, even those people that cut, take pictures and put it n the Internet, they need help too! they are crying for it! so instead of turning your back how about helping them? This blog is the hardest blog i have ever written in my entire life, never have i been so open over a blog... but anyway, now after explaining, i will tell you what the butterfly project is....i first found it on my instagram account (my name is dancingthrulife ) so if you have it you can look at some of the pics there, THERE ARE NO TRIGGER PICS I CAN PROMISE.
The butterfly project, is about helping people over coming self harm, by using nothing simply but love, and you know what? I'm crying now writing this..i think because it's hard for me for a start, and then the fact that its just done so much for me already.
- When you want to self harm, draw a butterfly on your body
- name it after someone who loves you and/or wants you to get better
- Allow that butterfly to fade naturally, no scrubbing
- If you self harm while you have a butterfly on you, you kill it ( if you have more than one, then self harm kills them all.)
- Realize that by hurting yourself, you hurt others, the ones that care about you aswell .
And beautiful people, you can all do this, if I can do this, then i know you all can too, just please give it a try, and dont worry too much if you self harm with a butterfly, dont beat yourself up over it. its ok to have knockbacks just as long as its clean and safe, draw the butterfly back on again and say...i'm going to protect you now, im sorry but this is gonna work this time, even if you have to do that for months, you get to a point where it starts to sink in...just please try it, i mean it does not solve all my problems, literally just my SH but its helped beyond measure, so please please, just give it a go ok? Thank you.
'it's ok to say youve got a weak spot, you dont always have to be on top, better to be hated, than loved loved loved for what your not'
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/index.php?categoryid=148
PS: another thing i have also done, as they will not be on my arm always is to draw all my butterflies in my journal i carry with me 24.7 so where ever i go
i am reminded :) The pics are on instagram. Lets use the start of a new year to get better!!! lets lower the self harm and suicide rate!!!!!!
